Thursday, April 5, 2012

Wait...There's a Lesson in Here Somewhere...

So today I was on laundry load numero 105 when the power went out. Just out of the blue- kerblewy. And then it was back on again a couple minutes later. It was one of those times where you think the power company is just messing with your head- a kind of prank to see how many people use UPSs and how many now had blown out TVs and appliances. They couldn't care a fig if both my washer and dryer had all of my baby's clothes in them since they were too busy giggling and pointing at me while I kept pressing the refresh button on my laptop before it dawned on me that no power = no internets. Uggggghhhhh.

While this was going down, I was waiting for Little Mister to wake up so we could go to our friend, Miss A's house for a play date with her daughter, Miss E. Miss E is 2 weeks younger than Little Mister and she and Miss A moved here 2 weeks after we did, thus making us kindred spirits in our postpartum frenzied states. She and I have been going on (at least) 4-mile walks nearly every morning, making her a very important component of my regular exercising (ok, ok- the *only* component of my regular exercising) as of late.

Little Mister had a wonderful 2-hour nap which I was going to very gently wake him out of to ensure he didn't sleep all day long and thus never get back into the topsy-turvy daytime schedule we both are adjusting to. Instead, a workman that I was expecting later in the day decided that, since he was in the neighborhood, he would stop on by, ring the doorbell, and thus scare Little Mister awake. Now, I'm not one of those moms you read about on STFU, Parents who thinks that the world should stop while her baby sleeps and gets angry if someone audaciously decides to *gasp*shock*horrors* ring the doorbell instead of sending smoke signals from the driveway to get my attention. However, since I was literally minutes away from gently waking him up to see his eyes slowly open, witnessing the recognition dawning in his face while his adorable, toothy smile slowly spreads as he looks at me, I was just a leeeeetle perturbed that this guy came 2 hours early, even after I had *just* spoken with him on the phone and requested he come later. UGGGGGGGGHHHHH.

So, after soothing my poor, startled Little Mister, I hurriedly got him ready to go, changed his diaper and threw a spare one in his bag while trying to find my house key that my very sweet friend and neighbor returned to me after looking after our old, arthritic cat while we were gone.

ANYwho, in my haste, I forgot that I have to wash his "big boy" (convertible) car seat since he had a poopy-problem in it during our trip. So, I had to use his infant car seat once again. We no longer have the base ready to go in our car since we don't use this car seat anymore. That's ok since we can use it with or without the base and, since Miss A lives about a mile from us, there was no need to set up the whole contraption. (Even though Little Mister is a big boy for his age, he's nowhere near the 35 pound weight limit for this car seat, thus he's still able to safely use it.)

So. I securely buckle him into his car seat, throw some toys on him to keep him occupied for the 2 minute drive, and let the service man know we were leaving so, if he needed to get into the house, he should have come at 2:30 like I told him he should. (No, I didn't tell him that...but I was thinking it very loudly with a very haughty voice in my head. Take that, service man!)

I get into the car and try to remember that I once again have to drive on the left side of the road and by the time I finish telling myself, "OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD, GEGE!" we were pulling into Miss A's driveway. As I hurriedly made the turn into her driveway, out of the corner of my eye I notice a blob of color swoosh in the back seat, at the same time hearing a soft *thud* behind me. As I'm running through the events leading up to this moment, it dawns on me that, without the base of the car seat in the car, I have to manually attach the car seat into the car with the seat belt. As the wheels are slowly turning in my head, I look behind me and see Little Mister's cute little toes waving at me at eye level. Since I didn't hear any crying, I let out a sigh of relief thinking, "No tears = I'm still a good mom."

I throw open my door and rip the back one off it's hinges to see Little Mister looking at me, upside down, with a look that said, "I'm not sure what happened, but I can see my toes from here, mama!" I debated for a few seconds whether or not to take a picture, but then I thought that there would be tangible evidence that could be given to the authorities, so I thought, "Nah. I'll just blog about it instead."

Once I ensure my Little Mister is ok, I take him out and then have to promptly sit down as my body convulses with a maniacal laughter that is tinged with relief, disbelief, and hope that there were no witnesses nearby. As I furtively look behind my shoulders, I finally pull myself together and ring Miss A's doorbell.

We had a great play date, but as it drew to a close, Little Mister decided that he was going to get sweet, sweet revenge for my earlier transgression. Miss E was ready for her nap, so I pick up Little Mister and am walking towards the door, idly chatting with Miss A when Little Mister does a huge, full body convulsion in my arms, grunting a slight, "Ugh!"while  nearly wrenching himself free. I clamp down on him thinking, "Not on my watch, bub! I'm a good mom!" And then, just as I'm starting to feel redeemed from the car seat incident, I also feel some wet warmth oozing down my arms and legs. As the wheels are slowly turning in my head, Miss A announces, "It's poop. Ohhh, it's poop," the horror evident in the slight quiver of her voice. With that one powerful push, he managed to splurt all over himself, me, and Miss A's carpet. UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

She quickly ushered me into the baby's room where I did my best to clean things up. Of course, since the power went out in the middle of the dry cycle earlier today, I had no extra clothes to put Little Mister in. (When will I ever learn?!?) So, I loaded him back up into his car seat, swaddled in a towel from Miss A, deeply humiliated about messing up her carpet (ok, ok....99.5% humiliated...the other .5% was thankful it wasn't my carpet. Sorry Miss A....just keeping it real!) but I would be danged if I didn't secure that car seat in the car with the seat belt this time.

Ohhh yeah. Who has two thumbs and wins Best Mom of the Year Award?

*smug smile on my face*

Me.

4 comments:

  1. Welcome back and thanks for both laughs!

    Motherhood is uh....very....uh....interesting, yes?

    kuddlekubs

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  2. ROTFLMBO!!! Oh My!!! That was a good one...especially the poop!

    I know I told you about the time Kevin didn't lock Noah's car seat down (when Noah was a little itty bitty) and I went around that crazy bend near Summit Point...Oh yeah! Lets just say Kevin was on my poop list that day...especially since i was on my way to take Noah to get SHOTS. Poor kid had a very traumatized day (as did I).

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  3. The life & times of raising kids: This is a funny story. I enjoyed this read....LoL Have a happy Easter!

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  4. Thanks, Kuddles :) Yes, very interesting, to say the least!

    Oh I had forgotten about that, Lyteyz! Sheesh- as little bitty as Noah was, I'm surprised Kev ever got off your poop list! I was actually thankful I used his infant car-seat- he was packed in tighter, so I think the only thing he really felt was confusion when he saw me looking at him upside down. :)

    I'm glad you enjoyed it, MrS wiLD. :) I hope you have a great Easter, as well!

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