May Day! Mayday!

I was sooo looking forward to the first week of May. My Mister had a business trip back to the States, so it was a prime opportunity for us all to go back so the fam could meet little SweetPea. I would be able to go to the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival with Lyteyz and Regina. We would then go to the southwest to celebrate Mother’s Day with our mothers and then have them babysit so we could celebrate our anniversary, as well. All in all, a perfect plan for a perfect trip.

Alas. Life is not perfect. We’re still waiting for little SweetPea’s passport which means My Mister is back in the States all by himself, visiting our friends, enjoying a full night’s sleep (well, when he gets over the jetlag), in a bed all by himself and, most importantly, drinking free refills. All while completely squandering the prime wool buying opportunity I would have totally taken advantage of at MDSW.

As for me? I’m still Down Under all by my lonesome with a toddler and a newborn and, as of this posting, am still alive to tell the tale. And so are my kids. Woohoo! Go me!

I know he knows, but just so that I can declare it publically for the whole world to see, and just in case he’s even thinking about staying just a minute longer, I MISS MY MISTER! He is a phenomenal husband and daddy and I truly feel it in my bones when he’s gone because he helps with so much around the house and with taking care of the kids and me, especially in those early days postpartum. With him gone, I have to handle by myself all of the feedings and bath times, temper tantrums (our first real tantrum happened last week- terrible twos has come early!), and midnight diaper blowouts. I have to make all the big decisions by myself, as well. Decisions like, do I really need to change the baby’s diaper if it’s just a shart? (Answer: Depends on where it falls on the Shartyness Scale. Anything over “Enough to Butter a Bread” and you should probably change it.)

Well, after My Mister left on Friday, I decided that I was not going to just let the TV babysit my kids while I wept in the corner curled up in the fetal position. I mean, after spending Saturday and Sunday like that, of course. They don’t count since it’s the weekend and I remember reading in some parenting book that all parents get the weekend off and you can wait until the Shartyness Scale reaches, “Stop Deluding Yourself- It’s Poop” before you have to change the diaper.

So on Sunday, I made a plan for the week. I was going to attack the week like a Professional Mom would. Like my mom would.

Side note: I have two under two. So did my mom- I was 14 months younger than my older brother. I have no idea how my mom did the things she did and I often wonder how it can be that I am related to her. As I’m verbalizing how overwhelmed I’m feeling and voicing my insecurities and wondering to myself, “How did my mom do it??” My Mister asks me, “Well, your mom did a good job. How did she do it?”

Dude. It does not matter that I was thinking the same thing. If a husband does not want an epic, hormonal, postpartum meltdown that will be sung about by minstrels sitting around the fire as a way to instill fear and terror into their audience, he should never compare his wife to her mother. Besides. Having two under two is probably the reason my mom went crazy. (Haha! Kidding! Kinda…)

So my plan for the week started with ordering groceries for in-store pickup which I would retrieve Monday morning after dropping off the recyclables (Cash for Cans! Yay!) and picking up the cat food at the vet’s, followed by mailing a package to my cousin whose daughter is 10 days younger than SweetPea. This is actually really cool since I am 11 days older than my cousin. I’m not sure what the odds are of that happening but it must be a good omen that everything would go perfectly since the planets were aligned and I was sending her two cute crocheted dresses which means bonus points for the day.

ANYwho… I have to order the groceries by 11pm the previous night to pick up at 9am the next morning. Sunday night rolled around and I was still in the fetal position in the corner, so I did not order the groceries.

My plan was not off to a great start.

No worries. Monday morning rolls around and, if I order by 11am, I can pick them up by 3pm, so we would have actual food in our house and Little Mister wouldn’t have to go around picking up random blobs off the floor and scarfing them down like he hadn’t eaten in a week. (For reals- he kept saying, “MMMMMM! Good!” and refused to give me what was in his mouth. I really hope it was the popcorn we had the previous day and not cat litter or something worse- like a bug.)

I decided to treat Monday as if I was going to battle work so I pried my crusty pajamas off my body and threw them in the fire wash and actually got dressed in actual clothes and even put on makeup as a way of saying, “I am making over $10 for my recyclables so I’m going to look like I earned that money!” After getting all dolled up and then reassuring my frightened Little Mister that I was indeed his mom, I logged in and started my grocery order. I then had to choose the time I wanted to pick up our food. This is when I realized things were a little off today. There was no option to pick up groceries today- only tomorrow (Tuesday) morning.

Huh.

No worries- I still had other errands to run and Lord knows there were still plenty of blobs on the floor for Little Mister to eat, so it’s all good. (See? This is why I don’t vacuum all that often. Now you know.)

On the way to the recycle center, My Mister skyped me. As we were talking, I told him that I remember seeing something about a parade later on that morning. This is when I realized that there must be something really special about today. Good thing I curled my eyelashes.

He told me, “Oh yeah- it’s a holiday today.”

I was thinking of all the important holidays where there could be a parade in May and didn’t think they celebrated Memorial Day but could it really be Memorial Day already? I mean, I know I have been in a hormonal daze lately, but could I really have misplaced an entire month? That would explain how SweetPea got so huge so quickly…. (For reals- both my babies went from newborn to Baby Huey in no time flat. I think my boobies have butter on tap instead of breast milk.)

Then My Mister said “Mayday!” I thought he was asking for help in some silly World War Two way in order to make me laugh, but no, he said it was the holiday May Day. (??)

Since we don’t celebrate that holiday in the States (do we?), I truly have no idea what it’s about but it dawned on me that it was probably the reason why I couldn’t pick up my groceries that day.

Then the wheels slowly turned in my head and the pieces started to fit together when I realized that, if it was a special enough holiday to have a parade, and special enough to prevent me from picking up my groceries, then it most likely meant that it was special enough for EVERYTHING to be closed.

Yep. The recycle center. The post office. Even the vet. All closed.

What the crap, Australia. I got out of my pajamas and was even wearing deodorant and you pull this lame-o trick on me??

Well, I thought that it wasn’t a total bust since I had the double stroller in the back of the car so we could at least go to the parade.

But, no.

I had 4 bags of recyclables sitting on top of my stroller and the parade started in 15 minutes. Not enough time for me to go home, unload all the stupid recyclables and then head back out to the stupid parade on this stupid, made up holiday. And I didn’t even get my hard-earned $10, either.

So, I went home. Unloaded the kids. Plopped them in front of the TV, and went back to my corner to curl back up into the fetal position and wash my mascara off with my tears.

See? This is why I should never get out of my pajamas. Now you know.

Free As a Caged Bird

OhMyLanta, y'all. It's a miracle! I actually got both kiddiewinks down for a nap AT THE SAME TIME.  You have no idea how rare this is. It's almost as rare as a blog post from me. I KNOW, RIGHT??

Of course this means that I actually have some very coveted time all to myself. I could use it to nap, because heaven knows how much I love to sleep, but I decided to instead use this very rare free time and spend it on myself. What to do...what to do?? Paint my nails? Bush my teeth? Use the bathroom by myself??

Seriously- it was so cute when my cat was a kitten and she would stick her tiny little paw under the bathroom door when it was closed and gently mewl letting me know she was all alone out in the big mean world. It's not so cute when it's the hand of your toddler who is crying, "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY! DOOR CLOSED! MOOOOMMMY!" I mean, I rarely close the door since I want him to see us use "the potty" so he will learn how it's done (he's actually doing well with the whole potty thing- when he farts, or he hears a fart, he'll scream, "POOP!!" and grab his butt. That's m'boy!), but sometimes mommy just needs a few minutes all to herself or she is going to go all the way to CrazyTown this time and there is no turning back. Like the old adage says, the good thing about having kids is that you'll never be alone....the bad thing about having kids is that YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE.

Anywho, I decided to use this rare time instead to give a little update since I've not really been responding to texts, emails, FB messages, or phone calls and I think some of my loved ones are wondering if I'm still alive. Yes, I'm alive and doing relatively well. However, I don't have much time to respond to people who are either not under the age of two, or who require a diaper change or a breastfeed (or both at the same time- although I needed Big Mister's help for that, but it worked! Yes, seriously.)

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HA! So, as I was typing that, Sweet Pea decided that I've had far too much free time (20 minutes) and I needed to attend to her right away. Considering she had spit up all over her hair and clothes, and subsequently my bed, I figured she was right. And then I noticed a yellow spot on her pajamas. It's pretty bad when you are not sure if it's a fresh yellow stain or if it's from the last time she wore them. And then you hope that you had washed them since the last time she wore them.

Anywho, my free time is now up. I'm still tired, my nails are still unpolished, I still need to use the bathroom, and I'm poorly groomed, so please don't knock on my door because I'm not going to answer. I don't care if you know that I'm home. CrazyTown is not for the faint of heart....or those with a working sense of smell.

Peace out, yo.

March: In Like a Lion...Out Like a....Watermelon?

I’m so very pleased to report that our Dear Little Sweet Pea is FINALLY here! In some ways I felt like I was challenging a pregnant elephant with the duration of my pregnancy, and in some ways it ended up going by quicker than I thought it would.

All in all, it ended and I am once again left marveling at how very useless having a birth plan is, yet still in awe of the tiny little bundle of joy (and poop- oh man…I had forgotten about the poop!) that is now here. She is absolutely perfect and I can’t stop staring at, smelling, and kissing her cute little head and cheeks.

More importantly, neither can Little Mister. I was concerned about how he was going to handle the transition once she was home, but, as with most things, it turns out that I was worrying for nothing. He is completely and totally IN LOVE with his little sister. The first thing in the morning he asks about is the baby. As soon as she cries, he runs down the hall saying, “Oh no! Baby! Baby!” and, I’m ashamed to say, has even heard her crying before I did. He constantly wants to hold her and his face absolutely lights up when he sees her. He’s completely smitten and I love it.

I can go on and on and on about how amazing she is and how amazing he is and how my kids are the best kids in the entire universe because 1) I am still trying to get used to saying I have “kids” as in more-than-one, and 2) I have totally become one of THOSE moms. You know. The kind that won’t shut up about how amazingly awesome her kids are and how they are the smartest things since sliced bread. (Hey- baby brain allows for mixed metaphors, so make like a tree and beat it!).

So, to stem my newfound Annoying Mother ability, I’ll just leave you with this pic of our Sweet Little Sweet Pea, complete with the outfit we brought her home in.

ACK!!! I DIE OF CUTENESS!!

Check those kicks. Oh yeah- that's my girl!

Hat is a very altered go at my Winter Watermelon Hat pattern. Dress is Angel Wings Pinafore. Socks are pure awesomeness. (They are actually hand-me-downs. My sister bought them for Little Mister when he was born. Best.Gift.Ever.)

Life Marches On

Whoo hoo! March is finally here! Although, baby is not…yet. It can be any moment now, though, so of course I’m walking like a sumo wrestler in hopes that the next time I sneeze, she’ll just gently slide out because….well, labor hurts, y’all.

This pregnancy started out quite…challenging, to say the least, but I’m happy to report that it is ending a heck of a lot better than I could have ever anticipated. I thought I would be a miserable mess of a woman who couldn’t wait for this darn baby to get out of me NOW! Because that’s how I was with my first pregnancy. I was actually resenting Little Mister for not being born prematurely because I was in so much pain and misery. Yeah…I was in a pretty messed up place last time.

As they say, every pregnancy is different- glory be hallelujah! The biggest difference is that I’m not in constant pain every day and that has made a HUGE difference in EVERYTHING. Yes, I still have pelvic issues, but for the most part they are more on the “normal pregnancy” scale. I’ve been avoiding activities that will aggravate my joints, so no long walks or pushing Little Mister in his stroller, but I’ve been able to be a whole lot more mobile than I thought I would!

And that, my friends, is a very good thing because I needed to have all the strength I could muster in the last couple of weeks since we moved….AGAIN.

BOOYAH! Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?!? Major life stressor on the horizon?? No worries, mate- just pile it on top of the other ones so we can get them all out of the way at once! That’s the way we roll!

Thankfully, however, this was not an international move- we just moved houses. (Ha! I made that sound like it was so easy, didn’t I?!?) So, it wasn’t as bad or as stressful as it could have been, but still….I think I overestimated just how much I could do (and how quickly I could do it) at 8/9 months pregnant. I am thankful that we were able to move before the baby got here, though. It’s a whole lot easier to get things done when you’re carrying a baby around in your belly rather than in your arms!

We are now almost completely settled in again- just a few more things to get unpacked and find places for. This house doesn’t have as much closet space as the other house, which means I’ve been playing Tetris with my yarn stash trying to find room for it all. Heh…heh…….*gulp*

Speaking of Tetris…..

It's not lopsided...promise. Just a crappy picture.

BOOYAH, AGAIN!! FINALLY! Little Mister’s Blanket o’Love! I have more (better) pictures- and the pattern!- to come, but since I’ve been so busy with the whole moving thing, I haven’t had the time to get it all together quite yet. BUT. It’s been two years since I started this thing so I thought I could at least show y’all what I had been working on. It’s actually not 100% finished yet- I still need to put a lining on the back. I had to order the fabric from the States and waited over a month for it to get here and then had other things to preoccupy my time (WE MOVED!) so my Little Mister is still Blanket o’Love-less. However, since it’s still a very hot summer out here (100 degrees today!), I figured he’s not going to need it for a little while yet, so I can procrastinate just a little bit longer.

I also have been crocheting things for the Little Miss, too. You’d think that I would be doing a lot of stash busting with the whole crocheting-for-a-new-baby thing, but then you’d be reading the wrong blog. I HAD to order just the perfect yarn, you see….so the increase to my stash truly was minimal……cross my heart! Besides, now there’s a whole new crib that I can stuff (more) yarn under, so…. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

Anywho….just wanted to let y’all know that I’m still here and doing much better than I thought I’d be. Just waiting (and waiting) until I can meet our sweet Little Miss. Although, as much as I can’t wait to meet her, I must say I’m really savoring these last few days alone with Little Mister. He’s such a sweet little cuddle bug and I’m really going to miss our one-on-one time together. Oh man….I’m getting all verklempt over here. Talk amongst yourselves- I’ll give you a topic. Lightning McQueen is neither lightning nor a Scottish monarch. Discuss.

So Hott

The last couple of weeks have been quite an emotional ride- filled with different decisions to be made, both by and for us, as well as plans to be made and deadlines to be met, long ago memories to be remembered, and hellish heat to avoid. Don't get me wrong- it's actually been a good emotional ride and has brought some much needed peace in our hearts and minds. Been a little stressful at times, but honestly, "stress" is a step up from what the last few months had brought with them, so YAY STRESS! I'm pumped, I'm ready, bring on the white hairs and wrinkles! (NO- actually, don't do that. I mean, stress and heart attacks are part of life, but getting old is for losers!)

It's been unbelievably hot here recently- all of Australia has been in a record breaking heatwave- so bad, in fact, that they had to add a new color to the heat temperature charts. You have blue = pleasant summer afternoon, green = dude, is that a blow dryer on my neck? yellow = maybe we should vacation in the Sahara to get out of this heat, Red = HOLY MOLY- The entire country just melted into the ocean, and now Purple = the sun has a new summer home in our backyard.

We've been in between red and purple for a couple of weeks now- it's been near 100 degrees at 8 in the morning many mornings- and I'm going both a little stir crazy staying indoors all day every day and yet dreading the days I have to leave the house to go grocery shopping because going grocery shopping in a bikini gets me a lot of unwanted attention. I know my hottness is just adding to the unbearable heat, but it's like people have never seen a 7 month pregnant woman buying vegetables before. My eyes are up here, people!

I've been having a crochet revival recently, first with Little Mister's blanket and now a new one that I'm working on for my new niece. (One that I'm having a serious case of the "keepies" since I'm loving it and I'm going to have a girl here in a couple of weeks and I know it'll look cute here in my house....ummm.....dear Sister-in-Law....this is not the blanket you were looking for.....*Jedi wave*) She's only 4 months old and I'm hoping I can get it done before she's a year and a half, but with my track record, I probably should have chosen some great college colors or something. Why another blanket during an intense heatwave? Because I'm a young hot hottie in her element in this heat.

Narcissistic? Maybe. Suffering extreme heat induced delusions of hottness? Definitely.