Monday, April 23, 2012

Good Mom/Bad Mom

You guys, we had a rough night. Little Mister didn't sleep at all, thus Big Mister and I didn't sleep at all. It’s been another 6 days since Little Mister pooped. AGAIN. He did have a little bit of a shart yesterday, but certainly not a 6 day poop shart. I also think he’s teething again since he’s sticking everything in his mouth- including my giant plastic crochet hooks. I so wish I had my camera while he was holding it while under his Fibonacci blanket yesterday. Of all the times to forget my phone at home…argh.

He's not napping today, either. I finally put him on the floor in my bedroom so I could have a minute to myself to…take care of business…and the next thing I know, the cat is running into the bathroom, her arthritic hips flailing, while meowing maniacally and pointing accusingly at Little Mister who was stealthily army crawling our way with a laugh on his lips, a twinkle in his eye, and a look of determination on his face. At least I hope it was “determination.” I’m afraid it was, “homicidal mania” and his “happy laughter” was, “Ima gonna get you, cat,” with “This ain’t no “twinkle” I be crazy, yo!”

I'm tired and a little bit on edge today and the only things that keep popping into my head were the following Good Mom/Bad Mom examples. And they gave me ideas made me giggle. I could really use a laugh today, so if you can add any to these, please do.

Ten Differences Between A Good Mom and A Bad Mom

Good Mom: Teaching your child the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you’d have them do to you.
Bad Mom: Teaching your child the Golden Rule: You poop on me, I poop on you.

Good Mom: Offering your baby your breast for some nutritious breast milk.
Bad Mom: Offering your baby your toe for some moldy toe jam.

Good Mom: Teaching your baby to say, “I love you, grandma!”
Bad Mom: Teaching your baby to say, “I’ll cut you, dirty whore!”

Good Mom: Securely fastening your baby to their car seat.
Bad Mom: Not fastening the car seat to the car.

Good Mom: Giving your baby a teething ring to help with the pain of teething.
Bad Mom: Taping your baby’s mouth shut so they’ll quit crying about their stupid teeth.

Good Mom: Offering your baby a variety of fruits and vegetables.
Bad Mom: Offering your baby a variety of road kill.

Good Mom: Teaching your child to pick up their toys and put them away.
Bad Mom: Teaching your child to pick up some hos and put them in ICU.

Good Mom: Letting your child play with a rubber ducky in the bathtub.
Bad Mom: Letting your child play with a plugged in toaster oven in the bathtub.

Good Mom: Clapping and laughing when your baby rolls over.
Bad Mom: Clapping and laughing when your baby rolls down an embankment.   

Good Mom: Gently rocking your baby and cooing, “Go to sleep, sweetie.”
Bad Mom: Not so gently hitting your baby with a rock while yelling, “GO TO SLEEP, BUTTMUNCH!”

Here's hoping tonight will be better than last night!

PS: I'm going to be participating in the 3rd Annual Knitting and Crochet Blog week this week. Should be fun! (Thanks to Libby for blogging about it, otherwise I'd never have known!)


  1. Oh Gege, every mother thinks these Bad Mom things from time to time and if they say they do not, they are LIARS!

    As long as you don't DO them, and just think them......

    Now go get some sleep! And give Little Mister an enema!


  2. You really have a lot of stories to share. I'm pretty sure somewhere you're secretly typing the manuscript for your new book. Come on, do tell!

    Glad you're joining the Knitting and Crochet Blog Week. I've got one post down and already twiddling my thumbs about Day 2.

  3. Yeah, Kuddles- I've only done the car seat one (ooops!)but I must admit that first one has popped in my mind a few times. ;) Funny thing is that Little Mister ended up going on his own as I was finishing up the post! I hope a 6 day calendar isn't going to be the norm for him.....

    Libby- from your lips (fingers?) to God's ears. :) No secret manuscripts going on, but that would be fun... ;) I think I'm going to either be a day late with my posts or skip day 2 since 1) I'm a day late with my posts and 2) I'm a terrible photographer. Day I come!