Wednesday, August 3, 2011

....of life....of diapers....of clothes that have been peed on while changing said diapers....of normal.

One of the first things you hear when people find out you're pregnant is, "Life is going to change for you!" Of course I, with my overly confident outlook on life, said, "Well, it's only going to change as much as we let it change.  Just because we're having a baby doesn't mean we have to stop living!"

Ha! Oh so naive and optimistic me of a few weeks ago!  (Actually, no- it was a very angry, moody, and miserable me of a few weeks ago.  The naive/optimistic me was much, much longer ago.) Not only have I stopped "living" the way I was used to (who knew that having a baby perma-attached to your bosom would limit your ability to just jump in the car and go to the grocery store anytime you needed to?), I've stopped sleeping, eating, and even grooming the way I was used to. (I finally was able to brush my teeth and put on my contacts at 3 this afternoon.  Maybe that's why he was so cranky today- mama's all-day-morning breath probably wasn't such a treat.)

Granted, I still have a newborn and am still trying to figure out this whole, "Oh-My-Lanta- I am a MOTHER now!" thingy and I do need to give both myself and my baby time to actually adjust to all of the changes that have occurred in our lives (Me: having a tiny little being completely dependent on me for everything in his life. Him: getting mama back for all of the gas noises he heard throughout the nine months in her belly.  Seriously- he totally did a lift the leg, grunt, and push out a fart while nursing yesterday.  I laughed so hard, it startled him awake.  That's our boy!)

One of the changes I've been dealing with is his inability to sleep in his crib at night. Or during the day. I know newborns need to feel secure and there's really no way you can "spoil" them at this age, so I don't feel entirely too guilty for co-sleeping with him at this point. I never thought I'd let him sleep with us since I was totally afraid of smothering him in his sleep.  And because I never thought I'd be one of "those" moms. However, we tried the whole swaddling him and shushing him to sleep from Happiest Baby on the Block. (TOTAL PACK OF LIES, by the way!) But he completely HATES being swaddled. He would cry bloody murder every time we would try it and then he'd grunt and fuss and wriggle his little arms out so that he could sleep with them above his head. If I let him sleep with me, he actually sleeps!  Me? Not so much.  But I'm adjusting. The crazy thing is that *I* actually feel comforted when he's sleeping with me instead of in his bed or swing. At first it was a pain to keep him with me. Now? I really enjoy it. Didn't see that one coming.

FINALLY taking a nap in his crib today!  (Nooo! I need you! I mean, you need me, remember?!?)

Another change is in the way I want to spend my day.  It's really weird.  Before he was born, I'd have no qualms spending a day off in bed or on the couch either crocheting, napping, reading, surfing the net- just being totally lazy chill and enjoying my day off. Now? For whatever reason, being a mom somehow makes me want to- I can barely get the words out- clean my house.  What the what?!? I KNOW! It must be the hormones and lack of sleep talking. Maybe I need to lie down until the urge passes....

Actually, I think it's the fact that I now have no choice in the matter.  Before, I could do chores around the house if I wanted to. ("If'" being the operative word.) Now? That choice is gone- I'm at the mercy of this tiny little hungry baby in order to do anything at all.  That's another change I didn't see coming.  I'm pinned to my bed and have the prime opportunity to do everything I normally enjoy doing guilt free and all I can think about is, "I really need to clean the bathroom." I don't know who I am anymore!!

Well, I'm going to take advantage of his napping on me (I was burping him and he crashed on my chest.  I love it!) and finish my Half Granny Scarf I've been working on for a while. Easy stitch and easy pattern for an easy time of enoying my Little Mister.  I could get used to this change. :)


  1. Oh those first couple of months when the first one was born--talk about upheaval! It will get easier, honestly it will. It will never go back to what used to be "normal", but the new normal will settle in.

    And by the way, he is GORGEOUS!

  2. Thanks, Julie! (We think he's gorgepus too :) ). Definitely looking forward to the "getting easier" part. Although, I do think I'll miss his inability to squirm away from me and his little head bobbing around, rooting for me while on my shoulder being burped. It truly is amazing the changes he has gone through in such a short time! Definitely trying to work out the new normal!

  3. You can do it! Woot! One day, trust me, you'll look back and say, boy I wish he wouldn't move around so much, wish I could just sit....for one second....

    They DO change so fast! It is an amazing journey that you will never EVER forget!


  4. Exactly, kuddles! I need to remember that it's ok to just chill and really enjoy this time. So the bathroom doesn't get clean- so what? Pretty par for the course. ;) Just wait until the weekend when My Mister can help me watch Little Mister and then I can get some stuff done. Right now, just relax, feed the babe, crochet, blog, feed the babe, lather, rinse, repeat. :)

  5. You're going to do just fine. It'll be fun to see how your idea of how things are going to happen and then how they play out differ from each other (as with the co-sleeping idea). Just go with it. Enjoy yourself.

    Curious - are you keeping a journal?

  6. Thanks, CB. :) I've had enough life experience to know that, whatever my expectations or plans, it's always best to be flexible because life very rarely goes the way I think it should. Even though I know this, I still am always shocked when things do not go the way I think they ought to. You'd think I'd learn by now, huh?

    Yes, I do have a journal, though I've not been writing as much as I would like to. Little Mister has been quite demanding! I've always been a journal-er, though. Keeps me sane. ;)

  7. The least I can say Miss geraldine is planning can only help so much, life with children is quite spontaneous, enjoy your quiet cuddle time now, it is much fewer and farther between as they grow. I am so glad the nursing is working better now, and I understand your co sleeping especially since we just got my almost three year old in his own bed, I appreciate the space in my bed but miss our cuddling!

  8. Ain't that the truth, mrswilcox! I am enjoying this time with him. :) I do hope to have him sleeping in his bed sometime in the nearish future, but it probably won't be until he's able to sleep 4+ hours at night consistently. I hope you and your little one get plenty of cuddling during the day to make up for the night-time cuddling you're now missing. :)