Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Far, Far Away

Ok. So now that we have finally moved to a land far, far away, I can finally just rest and take it easy.  I didn't blog about the craziness I've been going through because I've been under way too much stress and didn't want to go through a very public meltdown of epic proportions. (Kuddles asked if I was insane in the comments yesterday...oh girl- you have no idea how close I came!)  As much as I'm excited to be here and am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us, I have to admit that this wasn't the smoothest of moves for us.

Things I've learned when making an international move with a 2 month old newborn:

1) DO NOT make an international move with a 2 month old newborn.

They take up so much time. Know what else takes up so much time? Planning an international move. You have to choose one or the other otherwise much tears and swearing at your husband even though you don't normally swear will occur. As well as feelings of "WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING?!?!" and "Why the heck do I have so much crap??" and "I AM GOING TO DIIIIIE! And I'm taking my husband with me!"

2) Don't put off thinking about the international move in hopes it will disappear.

I've known for a while that this was coming but really could not wrap my head around it since I was a leeeetle preoccupied with being a first time mother. Was my baby going to be normal? What if he's ugly?? (Don't judge me!) Am I going to ruin his life? What if he's a she and they made a mistake in the ultrasound? What if he doesn't like me? Will I be able to breastfeed? IS HE EVER GOING TO BE BORN?? Get this baby out of me NOW!!  I AM GOING TO KILL MY HUSBAND FOR DOING THIS TO ME!

3) Reduce or eliminate the number of hours you work outside of the home.

I was finally able to reduce my work hours to 24 per week mid-April. However, by then I had tons of doctors appointments and other things to take care of on my days off that I never had any time to actually get prepared for this move. I actually liked my job and do miss my coworkers (Hi MrsWilcox!!) but I really really wish I had quit sooner so that I wouldn't have been so incredibly stressed out.

In all honesty, I truly think I may have had pre-partum depression. I was a complete mess and had a very difficult time coping with everything that I was going through and knew that once the baby got here things would become even more difficult. I couldn't move because of all the pain I was in and knew a good portion of that pain was because I sat all day at work. I was bitter about having to work when I knew I'd be stressed out about this move. I was bitter that I couldn't exercise. I was bitter at my husband for "doing this to me." I was even bitter at the baby for not being born and seriously wondered if I would be able to bond with him once he was born since I was so angry. Yes- ANGER is what filled me for a good portion of the end of my pregnancy and it wasn't pretty. I tried keeping things under wraps (I do have a history of trying to be strong and just working my way through things....when will I ever learn??) and just tried biting my tongue so that I wouldn't lash out at my husband or total strangers, but it was getting more and more difficult. In that respect, things definitely got better once I gave birth. Pregnancy hormones suck. And not just for giving me epically long facial hairs.

I've obviously now quit my job and am now officially a Stay At Home Mom. Wow. That's going to be weird to get used to. Actually, a lady here who was helping me get around town told me, "I'm not sure about what cleaning products to get since I work. You'll obviously be better at that than me since you stay home." WHAT THE WHAT?!? I was incredulous at her audacity, but just replied, "Well, I don't know about that. I've only just been home 8 weeks." I was very proud of my restraint! I didn't owe her any explanations and didn't want to come across as defensive by listing my educational and employment accomplishments and I especially didn't want to smack her across the head for being so rude. Ok. Yes I did want to do that.

4) Enjoy the time you have with your family and friends and make as many memories as possible.

Oy to the vey was this an emotional move.  I miss my sister so much more than I can express and have shed so many tears with Lyteyz and other close friends. There are so many folks at my church that I wasn't able to say goodbye to and that sucks. Thank the Lord for Skype! Hopefully they'll be able to invent a way to hug through the internetz. Or maybe Smell-o-Vision. That'd be cool too.

BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!!

Good-byes at the airport. My hormones affected everyone.

7 comments:

  1. Yikes! Don't know where ya landed, but good luck to ya! I for one am looking forward to more posts from you missy! AND finally those crochet patterns you want me to test!

    Big hug to you! and the baby! And hubby (if you haven't killed him yet!)

    kuddles

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, through all of the hormonal stuff and stress, I'm glad you've arrived safely at your new destination and hope that you will soon find friends there, have wonderful times with the kidd-o and cherish this opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom. [I loved it when my mom took fake "sick" days.] I wish you new crafting experiences and new memories and great family adventures. And that you can find a church that you like there.

    While you're busy living the life of a foreigner, I'll just look at my un-stamped passport and dream....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Kuddles and Libby! I think things are going to be a lot better now that we are here. I'm taking it easy with the unpacking- no need to rush it now! Also, getting published has really given me something to look forward to- something that was VERY needed. :) Kuddles, now that I'm going to have time on my hands, I hope to have some of those patterns for you! :)

    Thanks again, ladies!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was definitely surprised when I realized you were in the midst of such a huge move with such a little baby. It must be so nice to be able to take a small moment and breathe a little bit now.

    Can't believe that woman's comment to you ... it's the kind of thing you just have to let roll off you, though, I guess. Says more about her than you for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah- I don't know what we were thinking. The good thing about traveling with a small baby is that he did GREAT on the plane. So very thankful he's such a chill baby! About that lady...I kinda think she was trying to be self depricating and not malicious, but to my jet lagged, sleep deprived ears, it was still rude, ya know?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope there is lots of very fun yarn in Muy Muy Lejos! Hee hee...I just learned that from watching Shrek 3 in espanol...and that wasn't even with the grandbaby! BTW...they all live happily ever after in Far far away!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Haha! Need to watch Shrek in Espanol so my little nino will learn a new language here in Muy Muy Lejos. :) I have found some new yarn out here and started on a new project with it....more on that soon. :)

    ReplyDelete