On The Move Again

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was a time of insane stress, and a time of unbridled excitement. Moving day is always like that- a mixture of OMG! We're moving again! and, OMGWE'REMOVINGAGAIN!!! 

We are currently in yet another hotel room, awaiting our flight tomorrow to take us to another land where we’ll have another house, have to look for another car, hopefully meet new friends (wanna be my friend?? There may be yarn in it for you...), and pray our stuff doesn’t take another freakin’ 4 months to come back to us. 

It’s almost exactly 4 years since our last big move from the States. Moving is never easy, but I must admit, compared to 4 years ago, this has been a walk in the park.

Back then, we had a 2 month old newborn, I was having horrendous postpartum depression and anxiety and was *thiiiiiiiiiiis* close to a total meltdown. I was so afraid my precious little baby was going throw me a curve ball and, instead of just eat, sleep, and poop like he normally did, he'd....I don't know....poop, eat, and then sleep? Or something similarly crazy like that.

I was terrified of breastfeeding on the plane and then having a huge diaper blowout to contend with, as well as a potential screaming baby for all to enjoy. I was terrified of everything, really. Man. I was a mess.

Now, even though we have 2 small children this time around, we thankfully don’t have a newborn anymore. I am not dealing with postpartum hormones (THANK YOU, JESUS!) and I don’t worry about what goes in or out of their mouths or butts anymore. Just a little duct tape for their mouths and a cork for their butts and BOOM. We have this travel thing down.

Even though this has been an easier move, comparatively, it has not been an easy move by any means. This last bout of Lyme has seriously kicked my butt, making me all but useless many days. Perrrrrfect timing for when I need to be on my game for such a stressful time, let me tell ya.

However, today has been a good day. A calm day. We have finished most of the large items on our list and have a good plan in place for the other things we need to do tomorrow before we leave. Everyone is sleeping right now, including My Mister. It’s a well-deserved rest for him and I just hope these next couple of days will go smoothly so we’ll all be relaxed and have an easy transition to our new abode.

One of the large items on my list included an activity with my BFF Lyteyz. You see, after hearing about all the fun I’ve had yarnbombing with my Aussie friends, she really wanted to get in on the action before we moved. However, since it would just be the two of us, we had to choose a small target so we could complete it in time, as well as minimize our chances of getting chased by the PoPo. Dude. I don’t need any more stress. Or arrest warrants. I’m hardcore, yo.

So we decided to yarnbomb my sister’s Jeep.

It was brilliant, really. She was on a mission trip to Haiti, so we were able to get the measurements without her knowing. Lyteyz worked on many of the squares right away while I went nuts trying to get ready for a move. She was afraid that I wasn’t up for it anymore since our move date was getting closer and closer and I hadn’t worked on it at all. However, she totally underestimated my ability to crochet like a madwoman when jacked on adrenaline, stress, and a mountain of mind altering drugs. (Don't you dare take away my caffeine- I will cut you.)

I had the perfect design for her- something I designed years ago, though for a different purpose. I had to polish up my rusty algebra skills to get it to work just right and am pleased to report that I am still able to solve for “x.” Yes. I know. I am all that and a bag of Cheetos.

Lyteyz was leaving early Saturday morning on vacation (which means she won’t be able to see us off tomorrow- *sniff*), so we stayed up Friday night til 1am crocheting and sewing and yet, alas, we still were not able to finish everything to pull it off that night. BOOOOOOOOOO!

So, even though it was her first yarnbombing, my dear Lyteyz was unable to participate in the actual “bombing” part. However, since it only took a couple minutes to put up, she really didn’t miss anything. Well, actually, I could have used her help during the knife fight and subsequent tazing, but otherwise, she didn’t miss anything.

So, on the eve of the eve of my last day here, I put up my latest yarnbombing. 

It's Mrs. Skullhead Bony Hands!

My sister loved it and both Lyteyz and I are happy to know our hard work will be appreciated and will last for a long time, instead of being torn down and tossed away like last time. (Oh wow- seriously forgot that I never blogged about the last time!)

It felt good to get my creative and designing juices flowing again. Now I just need to wait for all my yarn to make it back safely to my hoarding arms so that I can once again unleash bombs of yarny goodness all over my future hometown.

Where will that be, you ask? Well, guvnah, I’m not going to tell you just yet. Though I’m sure you brilliant chaps will be able to figure it out.

Peace, love, and yarn, y’all! See you on the other side!

Crop Dusting

“Today was so fun. And btw…old ladies should not be crop dusting.”

This was the text I received from my BFF Lyteyz this afternoon. While I knew that, yes, today was so fun, I really was at a loss as to what crop dusting old ladies had to do with it. Maybe it was a secret code we came up with today at lunch and I somehow had forgotten it? I was sorely tempted to respond, “Oh yes- and the crow flies at midnight!” showing her that I, too, could be cryptic with secret handshakes and stuff. But then I figured that midnight flying crows may be code for lady parts or something equally embarrassing we may have discussed while out in public today. I was wondering why those people kept looking at us funny. (Note to self: be conscious of volume level when discussing lady parts with Lyteyz.)

So I responded, “Today was very fun! Ummmm…..ok. I’ll take your word for it……” because today was VERY fun- we happened to go yarn shopping (!!)- and because I truly had no opinion on whether or not old ladies should crop dust. I mean, if they are still flying airplanes in their old age and haven’t died yet from all the chemicals they’re spreading over our food, then more power to them. I guess?

“Oh gosh. Was that you?!?!?!?!”

Ahhh….the penny dropped. It was an inside joke she had with another friend and thought it was with me. Silly Lyteyz. How do I gently let her know her memory is failing in her old age and that she had better not mix me up with another friend again because I’d cut her. Wait. Was she saying she was the old lady and was considering taking up crop dusting? Did I totally space out on our conversation today? Am I the old lady? I’ve never flown a plane before, though. Or had I and I forgot about that, too? Crap. I’m getting old.

“I may be old but I’ve never crop dusted before.” Was my diplomatic reply.

I was wracking my brains going over the events of today. A local LYS is moving to a new location so they are having an AMAZING sale clearing out the stock they will no longer carry at the new location. So, of course I and my enabler BFF had to go since there is still some yarn in this world that we do not own. Besides. There is still some room in my kids’ bedrooms for me to stuff some yarn. They’re still young and flexible- they can sleep in the bathtub.

We went around the store, sniffing, petting, and rubbing the yarn all over our faces while saying appropriate things like, “Baaaaby,” and, “Ooooooo….mama like.” Maybe it was here that Lyteyz had a conversation about crop dusting with some strange woman and just thought it was me since she was so very distracted by the woolly goodness all around. I can’t blame her. I was drooling with my tongue lolling out while in my happy place, too.

I remember I was snorting some wool and started smelling something…a little off...and thought that perhaps this yarn wasn’t as clean as some others. Was there still some manure stuck to it?

I looked up at Lyteyz and she was making a weird face and motioned me to come over so I tried coming down from my wool high and floated on the fumes towards her and was nearly knocked over by an old woman who looked like she was trying to escape the aisle Lyteyz was in. That’s when I noticed the fumes I was floating on started to really turn sour. What exactly was in this wool??

And then it hit me. Like a brick wall. It totally stopped me in my tracks, made my lungs stop working, my eyes started watering, and my hair started falling out. I’m pretty sure something died in someone’s colon and was trying to escape. I thought it might have been Lyteyz and she was calling me over as some cruel joke- a yarn store Dutch oven, as it were. Then I noticed that she wasn’t motioning me over, she was fanning her nose and trying to escape. I beat her to the punch and returned to my happy spot to shove a few skeins of yarn up my nostrils to save them from the Fart Wall of Death that had just ambushed me. OH DEAR GOD- I WANT TO LIVE!!!

“Um. What’s funny is just when I walked over there this old lady booked it across the room. You did smell that right? Cause I thought you made a face the same time I did.” She text back.

And that’s when the second penny dropped. CROP DUSTING. That old lady that almost knocked me down- SHE WAS THE CROP DUSTER!! And I was crop dusted!! I am torn between hoping she made it to the hospital before succumbing to whatever festering rot she had up her butt, or hoping she didn’t make it and suffered a slow, painful death for making my face turn inside out and skin to melt off.

*SHUDDER*

Dude. Lyteyz is right. Old ladies should not be crop dusting. Especially not in a yarn store. THINK OF THE WOOL, LADIES!!

I'm Like a Sailor- One At Every Port

Through all of the suckage of the last few months (and man, there was a LOT of suckage), I’ve managed to work on that neverending yarn stash of mine, if even just a little bit.

Weeeellll….there may have been a teensy weensy bit of adding to said stash prior to working it down (one step forward, two steps TO THE YARN STORE!) but that was part of my evil plan for our “vacation” trip back home from Australia. I wanted to stop at a local yarn store at each of our visits to get some local yarns, if possible. While there were no yarn stores to visit on Guam, and no native sheep for me to stealthily shear at night like a ninja, there were a few to choose from in Honolulu.

Unfortunately, there aren't really any “local” yarns to Hawaii (at least not at this store…if there is some Hawaiian sheep not doing the hula but actually producing wool, dude... tell them to get back to the dancing because that’s where the money’s at.)

(Sorry…my mind totally started seeing a hula dancing sheep who then transitioned to wearing a top hat and singing, “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaaal!” And now you can see it, too. You’re welcome.)

Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes- Hawaii…

YarnStory specializes in all natural fibers and, since I may have a skein or two of wool lurking about somewhere, I thought I’d try something new…something I’ve never thought of trying before, and certainly something I’ve ever inhaled. So, I bought some hemp. 

It's called Hemp for Knitting. Crocheting with it is illegal. Unless you're in Colorado.

There’s a pattern from Vogue Crochet 2013 that I’ve wanted to try ever since I first saw it- a Pineapple Dolman Top- and I thought, what better yarn to use for a pineapple top than yarn from Hawaii? AND, it’s a DOLE-man to boot! HAHAHA! 

Photo

©

Vogue Knitting

Oh come on! I’m not anything if not punny. 

I started crocheting my Hawaiian Hemp Pineapple Dole-man right away but had to put it aside for a bit because I didn’t have the right kind of hook for it and, since I waited until our last day in Hawaii to buy my yarn, I had to wait until we made it to our next destination to buy a new hook. Gah! 

Our early morning trip to the airport was an absolute comedy of errors which culminated in another night in Honolulu, an urgent care visit, and some slightly deranged woman saying very loudly to anyone within earshot, "I'VE GOT THE SHINGLES- ONLY THE SHINGLES!" so there would be no confusion as to why I...I mean "she..." was picking up herpes medication from the pharmacy. 

When we finally arrived in Phoenix, I knew I had to visit the Southwest Trading Company (if you are able to, you should totally visit this place. AMAZING!).  I invited my Mother-in-law to come with me so she could choose some yarn- something she’d like in a color she’d like for something she would actually wear. Since she has very sensitive skin, and since Arizona isn't known for its need for wool in the winter, she chose this delicious soy yarn for a scarf. I started messing about with various stitch patterns and she chose one she liked. A knit pattern. With lace in it. 

Gothic Lace made with SWTC Pure (100% SoySilk)

Now, I’m still a very new knitter, and I didn’t have much experience with anything other than stockinet so you can imagine how much I was kicking myself for showing her that swatch. But I thought I’d rise to the challenge and hopefully make it in time for Christmas.

But then... *sigh*

Part of the suckage of the last few months included some very strange and scary neurological issues for me, as well as some very intense hand pain that I had been living with for months. The hand pain started sometime last spring, around the same time I started knitting. It was like my hooks got all my knuckle joints to protest my budding love affair with the needles so they were going to punish me with SO MUCH PAIN. 

So, I had to put my MIL’s lovely knit scarf away for a bit since the pain was becoming unbearable. That and the scarf was making me very angry and needed to be punished, so away into time-out it went. It was either that or burn it (IT KNOWS WHAT IT DID!). 

Our next stop was Albuquerque where I was able to visit Fiesta Yarns and buy some of their Zia cotton yarn (on clearance....holy moly their yarn costs a pretty penny!) While their storefront isn't really anything to write home about, it would be really cool to be able to have a tour of the dyeing process in the back. As a native New Mexican, I must say I have a sense of pride for this yarn brand- if only Albuquerque could be known for its gorgeous yarn rather than directionally challenged rabbits and crystal meth. I quickly cast on for a cute knit tunic that I found on Ravelry, but soon discovered that my hands were still not on the whole, "I'm a knitter, now!" bandwagon and had to put that away, too.

My hands didn’t hurt so much when I crocheted, though. I figured my hands just needed time to adjust to the new muscle movements that knitting requires and chose to ignore the condemning "ADULTERER!!" looks from my hooks  So, once we made it to Virginia, I crocheted my family some new scarves. Of course I needed to buy more yarn for these scarves (teehee!) since my stash was somewhere on the ocean taking the scenic route back home.

Only one of them still has...."fringe"

And then a blessing came. It came disguised as the worst case of strep throat ever seen by any doctor alive, but it was still a blessing. You see, I was put on some antibiotics (a Z-pak) to help calm my raging fever. Turns out I didn't have strep, after all, just the worst case of tonsillitis ever seen, so I'm not sure the antibiotics did anything to help me get well any faster; however, the week after taking the meds, I noticed that my hands didn’t hurt anymore. And the other weird and scary neurological stuff stopped, as well. (!!)

After months of fearing I was getting Rheumatoid Arthritis and possibly Multiple Sclerosis in retaliation for my dalliance with knitting, it turns out that my hands weren’t protesting my carnal love affair with the needles after all! Had I not gotten so horribly sick, I'd never have known my hands and body were merely refusing to work due to (*most likely) Lyme disease.

Man. Once I figured that out, my torrid love affair with knitting was back on like Donkey Kong, baby! I finished knitting my MIL’s scarf, and in time for Christmas! 

Greatest.MIL.EVER

And then I made a hat for My Mister. And then another hat for My Mister since his head isn’t the size of beach ball. 

The jellyfish one and my Head Eating Blood Clot make a good couple.

And then a cowl for my lovely friend Miss A, who now lives in Hawaii (and who we were able to visit whilst there). 

Actually, I RE-knit it. IT KNOWS WHAT IT DID!

And then this pretty, sparkly scarf for me. 

Doubles as a hypnosis tool.

And then this lovely hood for me. 

Yes it is lovely! Use your imagination!

And this hat for me, but since my head is not the size of a softball, I gave it to SweetPea. And then made me another one. 

I will never be as cool as she already is.

And this sweater that's almost done.

Yes, it's supposed to be that big. The sleeve, on the other hand...IT KNOWS WHAT IT DID!

In short, I’ve been rather unfaithful to my hooks as of late. I did pick them back up after the first (ginormous) hat I made for My Mister since I needed some instant gratification, so I made this cute hat for SweetPea. 

She was trying to knock the camera out of my hands. She's like the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

And then I started this sweater. However, in my defense, I did try various crochet projects with this yarn, but none of them looked right to me.

Even in knit I wasn't in love with it. Though this pic makes me want to change my mind.

Ohhh....don't look at me that way, hooks. C'mon, baby. You know I love you best! Knitting? Well....she's just something new....a little sumpin sumpin on the side, but it doesn't mean anything! C'mere, baby- I'll show you just how much I love you best....

 
(Actually, there has been a bit more crochet...but it's for a couple patterns, soooo......hopefully will have them up...soonish?)


*(Unfortunately, it cannot be confirmed since Lyme testing is notoriously unreliable. I had a false negative when I had it in 2008, too. However, the big clue is that I got better after taking antibiotics, so SCREW YOU, LYME! By the way, since Lyme disease is very rare in Australia, and considering the time frame when my symptoms first started, I most likely contracted it while in Asia last year. And you didn’t think that story could get any crazier! Well played, Thailand. Well played.)

Erin's Hug: Free Pattern

I love Australia. I truly do. It’s so much more than gigantic (and sometimes miniscule) things that can kill you with their brains (and teeth and poison). And, it’s so much larger than people realize- just about the same size as the contiguous United States. (So, for those of you who told me that such and such was going to be on tour in Australia so I should just pop on over to see it….it’s like saying, “Hey! You should drive to New York from Albuquerque this weekend so you can see Les Miserables!”)

In other words, it ain’t gonna happen. And study some geography, yo.

It’s also farther away than many people realize. It’s quite literally on the other side of the world from the US and, regardless of what that amazingly awesome and annoying Disney ride tells you, it is NOT a small world after all. It took us 36 hours of travel time to get to our home in Australia from the east coast of the States. 36 hours. With a two month old newborn and a new mother who was trying desperately to hold on to her sanity while not ripping off everybody’s head because they had slept in the past 2 months and she HAD NOT SLEPT AND I’M GOING TO DIE.

*HEAVY HYPERVENTILATION*

Ok. I’m better now. Just a little PTSD. No big whoop.

When we first moved here, I started crocheting like a mad woman. Well…a slightly deranged woman. I bought yarn like a mad woman. You can never have enough yarn…it makes for a great insulator for the padded room.

One of the first things I made was this gorgeous purple scarf. 

LOVE LOVE LOVE PURPLE. And this scarf, too.

I may or may not have twirled around and pranced like a ballerina with it. I'll never tell.

It’s basically the South Bay Shawlette hacked into a scarf. A very long and wide, lacy scarf of awesomeness.

And then I made it in a bright, vivacious red lace because I loved it- I especially loved the repetitive nature of the stitches. It was nice to have something simple to work on when the rest of my life was full of hecticness. 

VIVACIOUS. The scarf ain't bad, either. Hee!

It’s the whole, “on the other side of the world” thing that has been the toughest for us. Little Mister was the first grandchild on both sides of our families and has met his grandparents 3 times. I’m so thankful we were able to go back when he was 9 months old because that was the first, and only, time my dad got to meet him. He passed 4 months later. When you’re faced with the mortality of your loved ones, especially your parents, the other side of the world is NOT where you want to be.

We were not there for other major trials, tribulations and joys, either. Major surgeries and hospitalizations, more deaths (my grandmother passed a week or two after SweetPea was born), as well as life (our sweet niece, who just turned two and who we have only met once).

I was able to spend some time with friends and family in Arizona and New Mexico a couple times, which was great. Though, I missed my other friends and family on the east coast terribly and can’t believe it’s been 3 years since we last saw each other. My dear BFF Lyteyz tried to visit me in NM while I was there for my dad’s funeral but things were just too hectic.

She so wished she could be there for me- a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a hug to let me know I wasn’t alone. She was faced with her own stressors during this time. She and her family were trying to come to terms with the fact that her own father was going to leave them soon. Stage 4 melanoma is nobody’s friend.

I am so thankful for my other BFF Ronda during this time- she let me and Little Mister crash at her place for the 3 (4?) weeks we were there and even helped Lyteyz send her “hug” to me via a beautiful bouquet of flowers sent to Ronda’s house as a surprise.

It was sometime around here that I started working on my third lacy scarf. Ever since I first made the purple one, I had wanted it in this amazing, bright blue and had the perfect yarn for it in my ever expanding stash. 

This is pre-blocking...blocking is A MUST with this shawl.

I started working on it and it made me happy. I couldn’t wait to wear it, especially since I wore my red one with everything. As I was working on it, I kept thinking of Lyteyz. Every single time I picked it up, her face would pop up into my mind. It was a little creepy, actually. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, LYTEYZ! I can’t hear the other voices!

And then, March rolled around and my beautiful SweetPea was born. And then my grandmother passed. And then April rolled around and I so wished I could have been there for Lyteyz when she let me know the day the Lord finally called her dad home.

And then I knew. I knew why this scarf had Lyteyz written all over it. It was big and beautiful and yet light and airy. Something you can wrap yourself up in and yet not be overwhelmed with. It was a perfect hug.

Since I couldn’t be there for her during her very difficult time, I knew that this scarf was destined to give her the hug that I couldn’t give in person.

So, I’m sharing it here with you. Maybe you need a hug or know someone who needs a hug. Maybe you have a gigantic stash that you need to work through and your husband needs a hug as he weeps for joy that it’s slowly but surely going down.

It’s a super simple pattern- more of a recipe, really. I didn’t add an edging to it since it’s so very lacy and I wanted it simple. (That and lace weight yarn is so flippin’ tiny. Any therapeutic value this project had would have been for naught if I tried to single crochet all the way around it. I’m getting anxiety now just thinking about it.)

Without further ado, here’s Erin’s Hug, from me to you. 

My beautiful BFF, Lyteyz. Bet you can't guess how she got that handle.

Erin's Hug

What you need:

880 yards lace weight yarn  

• (I used 2 skeins of KnitPicks Gloss for the red one and 2 skeins of KnitPicks Shadow Tonal (unfortunately discontinued (!!!) ) for the blue one. KnitPicks, and their sales, may or may not be part of the reason my closets are filled to the brim with yarn. And why My Mister weeps for joy. The purple one is a mystery wool from a cone gifted to me when I first moved to Australia. I love Aussies. They give me yarn.)

4.5mm crochet hook 

• (It’s labeled as a G hook, but I have 3 different G hooks- 4mm, 4.25mm, and 4.5mm. Just use whichever one you have.)

Note:

1. Ch4 counts as dc, ch1
2. Ch3 counts as dc
3. I cannot stress enough how important blocking is to this project. Once you are done crocheting it, it will look like an ugly pile of poo. But, once you block it, BAM! The lace comes out and you will be amazed at how much it grows, both horizontally and vertically. Blocking: it’s a good thing.
4. After blocking, this was about 18" x 80". KnitPicks lace yarns are a heavier lace weight, so the red and blue ones ended up slightly larger than the purple one, which was a much finer lace weight. If you are using a finer lace weight and desire a really wide stole/scarf, add another repeat (8 stitches).

Special stitches:

Small-V: 

• At beginning of row: (ch4, dc) in first dc 
• At end of row: (dc, ch1, dc) in last dc

Large-V: (dc, ch3, dc) in indicated stitch

What you do:

Worked in a multiple of 8+10

Chain 82

Row 1: Sc in second ch from hook and on down. (81sc) (Conversely, you can do 81fsc if you so wish and follow from there)


Row 2: Ch3, dc next sc. Ch1, skip 2 sc, Large-V in next sc. *Ch1, skip 2 sc, dc in next 3 sc. Ch1, skip 2 sc, Large-V in next sc. Repeat from * until last 2 sc. Ch1, Dc in last 2 sc. Turn

Row 3: Ch4, skip next (dc, ch1), 7dc in ch3 sp. *Ch1, skip next (ch1, dc), dc in next dc (middle dc of 3-dc group). Ch 1, skip next (dc, ch1), 7dc in ch3 sp. Repeat from * until last 2dc. Ch1, dc in top of ch3. Turn

Row 4: Small-V in first dc. Ch1, skip next (ch1, 2 dc), dc in next 3 dc. *Ch1, skip next (2 dc, ch1), Large-V in next dc. Ch1, skip next (ch1, 2 dc), dc in next 3 dc. Repeat from* to last dc. Ch1, Small-V in 3rd ch of ch4. Turn

Row 5: Ch3, 3dc in ch1 sp. Ch1, skip next (ch1, dc), dc in next dc (middle dc of 3-dc group). *Ch 1, skip next (dc, ch1), 7dc in ch3 sp. Ch1, skip next (ch1, dc), dc in next dc. Repeat from * until last Small V. ch1, 3 dc in ch1sp, dc in last dc.

Row 6: Ch3, dc next dc. Ch1, skip next (2 dc, ch1), Large-V in next dc. *Ch1, skip next (ch1, 2 dc), dc in next 3 dc. Ch1, skip next (2 dc, ch1), Large-V in next dc. Repeat from * until last 4 dc. Ch1, skip next (ch1, 2dc), dc in last 2 dc. Turn.

Repeat rows 3-6, ending on a row 6, until you are just about out of yarn.

Last row: Ch1, sc in first 2 dc, *sc in ch1 space, sc next dc, 1sc in ch3 sp, sc next dc, sc in ch1 space, sc in next 3 dc. Repeat from * on down. (81sc)




(If you end on a row 4, make sure to sc in every dc and ch1 spaces, and ONLY 1sc in the ch3 spaces.)

Bind off and weave in ends. Give yourself a hug.


Copyright 2014 Gege Crochet. All rights reserved. Pattern available for personal use only- please don't sell it- that's just not cool. You can sell, FO, though. Hug as many people as you like. Just please don't post this pattern anywhere- you can provide a link back to here, though.

I'm Coming Out of the (Yarn) Closet

This past year has been a very healing one for me. Even though I didn’t blog (almost at all) during this time, I truly have been busy growing as a person, a wife, a mother, and even a crocheter. I really had a lot of time to reflect on myself- find who I am, if you will.

I had to search in some really deep, dark, dirty places, actually. But now that most of my yarn is in vacuum storage bags, the closet(s) and under the bed(s) aren’t so bad anymore. I’ve been on a yarn diet for a while now, so I have not been adding to my monstrous stash. **My husband categorically rejects this fabricated and disillusioned statement**  (Although, I may or may not have been ordering and shipping to my sister’s house….because of the move and all…not because I’m trying to hide my purchases. Nope. Not that.)

As I was going through my stash and trying to consolidate it and shrink wrap it in ways where I could actually close the closet doors, I truly couldn’t help but start (and even finish!) many (many, many) projects. 

One: my own design; Two: from Doris Chan. I've got a lot to learn

PONCHOS! Both made from Aussie yarn

For my dear BFF, lyteyz: Erin's Hug...pattern coming in the next post or two....

Many hats made for the Beanie Festival....but I kinda sorta never turned them in.....

Made the one she's modeling for a friend. Not 5 seconds after taking that pic, SweetPea barfed all over it. IF I CAN'T HAVE IT, NO ONE CAN!

I put it on her, first. Then he said, "I want a cape with a hat!!" Yes....that's what it is, my love...a cape with a hat.

For a baby shower, a newborn baby, my baby's room, and my baby sister.

The only problem was that, though I love crochet, I just felt it in my bones that some of this yarn wasn’t meant to be crocheted. Some of that yarn felt different from the other yarns. Like it didn’t quite belong.

I, being the very attuned and sensitive person that I am, wanted to make sure that all my yarn was happy, no matter what they felt like. So, I started joking with my friends. And watching videos on youtube. And looking at pictures on Ravelry. Which turned into looking at patterns on Ravelry.

And I figured that it was time to face the truth. I couldn’t ignore it anymore and I knew that I wouldn’t be true to myself, or to my yarn, if I didn’t explore this side of me.

So, here it is.

You guys. My name is Gege, and I am bistitchual. 

I AM A KNITTER NOW! However, GegeCrochet-n-Knit just doesn't have that great a ring to it, ya know?

** This is her Mister and I both typed and approved the above statement

When a (Yarn) Bomb is a Complete Dud

I don’t think anything will top the euphoric feeling I had the night my Hookers and I yarnbombed for the first time. It truly was amazing. However, the second time we attacked our town resulted in us putting the “art” in “street art,” if I do say so myself. We were (are) ever so proud of the work we did for our second outing and were really looking forward to all of the excitement and accolades this one would bring (hey- praise is addictive!).  And yet, unfortunately, we were left with a big ol’ “Wah waaaaaaaaaaah!” at the end of it all.

To be honest, that part quite sucked.

You see, after our triumphant Christmas bombing, we put the word out asking for ideas for our next venture. Mr. Mayor actually suggested doing something for Australia Day, which is a lot like our Independence Day….just without the independence. (OOOOOOOOOO BURN!!!!)

We thought that would be an exciting thing to do and, since we were so hopped up on the kudos and accolades and oooohs and aaaaaahs of our first venture, we thought that Australia Day would be a suitable, honorific occasion to showcase our amazing talents.

And then the Aussie members of our group kind of dampened our spirits when they informed us that Australia Day is January 26. Just as a refresher, Christmas is December 25. That meant we had just over a month to pull off another momentous, artistic, magnificent work of amazement.

No worries, mate. We laughed in the face of that small amount of time. Heck. We farted in its general direction. WE ARE THE AMAZING HOOKERS! WE WILL DO IT AND ASTOUND YOU!

So, we started thinking. And thinking. And fretting. And doubting ourselves. And thinking maybe there is something to that whole “pride comes before a fall” thing.

And then....... I got it!!! We should celebrate Australia with something that is uniquely Australian. A dot painting. Correction: a CROCHET dot painting.

I did a lot of measuring and calculating and figuring and then I presented my idea to the gals and they unanimously agreed with it. We just had to get started like RIGHT NOW in order to pull it off, so off we went, again.

Whereas the first time we had a lot of fun getting together and crocheting various pieces together, this time we had an actual goal to attain and a time-frame in which to do it. While we still had fun, the prospect of not meeting our deadline was just a wee bit stressful. And, since I am not the only perfectionist in our little group (ahem, ladies….you know who you are), there was even some talk of perhaps getting it ready for Anzac Day, another momentous Australian holiday…..which is in April.

But, no. The perfectionists (and masochists) in us took over. We soldiered on. We crocheted a hundred million dots. I set them out and rearranged them and sent the gals photos of the final layout. Then I rearranged them again and sent them another picture of THE FINAL layout. Then I rearranged them again. Then they came and put me in a strait jacket and forbade me from touching anymore dots because I was getting just a little bit obsessive ridiculous.

Once the layout was finally, finally finalized, we sewed (by hand!) all those dots on the background. We then cursed sewing anything by hand and vowed to never do it again.

And then, just under 6 weeks after we agreed to develop carpal tunnel amaze our town once more, we were done.

EXCEPT. One small detail.

You see, the first time around we were pretty darn smart about it. We chose a location and then crocheted things to fit our target. It was a pretty good plan, actually. Pick something. Measure it. Crochet things that fit that measurement so that it would be easy to put it all together in a short amount of time so that we could then book it to our getaway car.

This time around, we were more “prideful” than we were “smart.” We chose an amazing project, but unfortunately had no location in which to display our project. So we brainstormed. And thought. And argued. And thought some more. You see, due to the nature of our “yarn bombing,” we wanted a more secure location for it. A place where it would be protected from the elements….and from those nasty, no-good, crochet-stealing thieves out there. I hear they run rampant here in the Outback. Just looking for some yarny goodness to swipe to give to their dingo-eating babies. (Wait a second…..)

We finally requested permission from one of the local malls to use one of their empty storefronts as a display for our Pièce de résistance. They acquiesced and we “sneakily” set up our “yarnbombing” around 9am when the stores opened, right before Australia day.

And then we waited.

We waited for the accolades to come in. Waited for the word to spread on social media. Waited for our GENIUS to be discovered and appreciated and shouted about from the rooftops.

And we waited.

AND NOTHING.

I basically ended up tweeting out there, “Hey….did anybody see our wonderful piece of art/yarnbombing? Because it truly is amazing and you should be stroking our egos right about now” only to be told that people looked and couldn’t find it.

I finally know what, “taking the wind out of the sails,” looks like in a group of women. It is not pretty.

Turns out that, though our work was protected from the elements and from dingo-eating thieves, it was also protected from EVERYTHING. Including people’s eyes. The one thing we were hoping to attract. We may have flattered ourselves in thinking that, perhaps, it may have looked like an official Australia Day decoration in the mall store front, so nobody really took notice, but, well….the fact remains that our yarnbombing was much more of a dud.

*HUGH SIGH*

SO.

This time we learned from our mistake and have chosen a location first, and then a project second…..

And it is coming……. 

Photo courtesy of the amazingly awesome Sarena Kelley

There are a total of 705 crochet dots in 25 different colours crocheted by seven different women and hand sewn onto this gigantic Australia, which is set adrift upon a blue crochet ripple ocean. 

PS: I crocheted the ripple background. It's about 7' square.  THIS IS FREAKIN' HUGE. And, regardless of the accolades (or lack thereof) we received, IT IS AWESOME.