Life Marches On

Whoo hoo! March is finally here! Although, baby is not…yet. It can be any moment now, though, so of course I’m walking like a sumo wrestler in hopes that the next time I sneeze, she’ll just gently slide out because….well, labor hurts, y’all.

This pregnancy started out quite…challenging, to say the least, but I’m happy to report that it is ending a heck of a lot better than I could have ever anticipated. I thought I would be a miserable mess of a woman who couldn’t wait for this darn baby to get out of me NOW! Because that’s how I was with my first pregnancy. I was actually resenting Little Mister for not being born prematurely because I was in so much pain and misery. Yeah…I was in a pretty messed up place last time.

As they say, every pregnancy is different- glory be hallelujah! The biggest difference is that I’m not in constant pain every day and that has made a HUGE difference in EVERYTHING. Yes, I still have pelvic issues, but for the most part they are more on the “normal pregnancy” scale. I’ve been avoiding activities that will aggravate my joints, so no long walks or pushing Little Mister in his stroller, but I’ve been able to be a whole lot more mobile than I thought I would!

And that, my friends, is a very good thing because I needed to have all the strength I could muster in the last couple of weeks since we moved….AGAIN.

BOOYAH! Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?!? Major life stressor on the horizon?? No worries, mate- just pile it on top of the other ones so we can get them all out of the way at once! That’s the way we roll!

Thankfully, however, this was not an international move- we just moved houses. (Ha! I made that sound like it was so easy, didn’t I?!?) So, it wasn’t as bad or as stressful as it could have been, but still….I think I overestimated just how much I could do (and how quickly I could do it) at 8/9 months pregnant. I am thankful that we were able to move before the baby got here, though. It’s a whole lot easier to get things done when you’re carrying a baby around in your belly rather than in your arms!

We are now almost completely settled in again- just a few more things to get unpacked and find places for. This house doesn’t have as much closet space as the other house, which means I’ve been playing Tetris with my yarn stash trying to find room for it all. Heh…heh…….*gulp*

Speaking of Tetris…..

It's not lopsided...promise. Just a crappy picture.

BOOYAH, AGAIN!! FINALLY! Little Mister’s Blanket o’Love! I have more (better) pictures- and the pattern!- to come, but since I’ve been so busy with the whole moving thing, I haven’t had the time to get it all together quite yet. BUT. It’s been two years since I started this thing so I thought I could at least show y’all what I had been working on. It’s actually not 100% finished yet- I still need to put a lining on the back. I had to order the fabric from the States and waited over a month for it to get here and then had other things to preoccupy my time (WE MOVED!) so my Little Mister is still Blanket o’Love-less. However, since it’s still a very hot summer out here (100 degrees today!), I figured he’s not going to need it for a little while yet, so I can procrastinate just a little bit longer.

I also have been crocheting things for the Little Miss, too. You’d think that I would be doing a lot of stash busting with the whole crocheting-for-a-new-baby thing, but then you’d be reading the wrong blog. I HAD to order just the perfect yarn, you see….so the increase to my stash truly was minimal……cross my heart! Besides, now there’s a whole new crib that I can stuff (more) yarn under, so…. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

Anywho….just wanted to let y’all know that I’m still here and doing much better than I thought I’d be. Just waiting (and waiting) until I can meet our sweet Little Miss. Although, as much as I can’t wait to meet her, I must say I’m really savoring these last few days alone with Little Mister. He’s such a sweet little cuddle bug and I’m really going to miss our one-on-one time together. Oh man….I’m getting all verklempt over here. Talk amongst yourselves- I’ll give you a topic. Lightning McQueen is neither lightning nor a Scottish monarch. Discuss.

Happy New Year!

Happy 2013!

Even though 2012 had some, shall we say, "bumps in the road," I'm happy to report that it actually ended really well. We capped it off by having a great New Year's Eve (not that we were awake at midnight- we’re parents of a toddler now and one of us happens to be 7 months pregnant....you do the math) where my Mister and I got to see The Hobbit. (!!) It was an actual date. Alone. Without Little Mister. WAHOO! And, I’m actually looking forward to what this New Year will bring instead of dreading what unknown curveballs it may send my way.

When last I left you, things were kinda sorta looking up for me in a, “Meh…whatever….eat, sleep, try not to hide when I see people” type of way. It was actually an improvement from the, “OH WOE IS ME! ACK! People! *Hisss* *Snarl*” outlook I had earlier. And now, I am happy to report that I’ve improved even more. I’m now in a, “A New Year- how exciting! Oh look! People! They don’t look too stupid so I think I’ll smile at them! ” outlook. I’ve even been using smileys in my emails and actually wish I had more energy during the day so that I could get things done instead of wasting Little Mister’s naptime by taking a nap myself. (Oh who am I kidding- I love sleeping. YAY FOR NAPS!)

I noticed an upswing in my outlook in November- we took a cruise to New Zealand which I had been looking forward to for a long time. I really really really wanted to tour Hobbiton, truth be told. However, I had been really scared that I wouldn’t be able to walk more than 10 minutes much less the couple hours the tour would require. (Background info: I ran a 10K in June and by the end of August I couldn’t walk more than 10 minutes without feeling like my pubic symphysis was going to split in two. My pelvic girdle/pubic symphysis/sacral joint issues were the cause of my constant pain last pregnancy and a huge reason for my lack of blogging- I was beyond miserable. Since the pain started earlier this time around, I thought I was doomed for 9 months of agonizing pain, which was a major component of my despondent first trimester.)

HOWEVER. Not only was I able to walk around for much longer than I had anticipated, I was able to do it with this cute, sleepy little Hobbit strapped to my chest.

Knock knock, Bilbo!

We were able to tour Hobbiton without feeling like I was steps away from Mount Doom and I left Middle Earth New Zealand with a hope that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Perhaps the rest of my pregnancy wasn’t going to be as miserable as I had anticipated!

My prrreciousssssss

We even got to utilize some of the crochet creations I made earlier in the year.

Bat Hobbit is hungry!

I was and have been in a much better mood ever since. I actually got in the Christmas Spirit and decorated the house instead of being a Grinch like last year. We had a great Christmas- I think I was more excited for Little Mister to open his gifts than I was for my own.

And then… a miracle of miracles happened. Something that hadn’t happened in nearly 6 months. I, Gege from GegeCrochet, actually started crocheting again. *GAAAASP!*

Not only that, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to start this new year with an actual finished object- and even a pattern! I’m putting the finishing touches on it and should have it done today or tomorrow. Let me tell ya- it felt good to let those creative juices flow again. My Mister has been really happy about it, too. He’s been pressuring encouraging me to crochet for a long time now and he really wanted me to finish this particular project ASAP. Granted, he’s also realizing that, while Gege crocheting again = happier wife, it also means a messier, yarn strewn living room again. Even so, I think it’s a tradeoff he’s willing to make. ;)

So, there you have it. A start to a New Year filled with hope in my heart, a smile on my face, and a hook and yarn in my hand.

I wish you all a very Happy 2013!

Fine. I'll talk. But I Won't Like It. Well, Maybe a Little.

Why, hello there chickadee! Fancy seeing you here. Come around here often? You do?? That’s funny because I apparently don’t.

Thank you to those of you who have been inquiring about me. I really do appreciate it! However, it’s when my close friends and family start asking, “Hey, you still alive? Haven’t heard from you in a while….” that I know I need to stick my head out of my cave and blearily blink my eyes at the sun and wearily croak, “Yes I’m here! Now get off my lawn you dang whipper snappers!” and then slowly turn myself around and drag myself back into the abyss, grunting with the effort I expended by being social.

So. Hi. I’m still here. Doing….aiight. Actually, I had started a few blog posts since my last one letting y’all know that things have been going much better since entering the second trimester….but then things were not going so much better so I abandoned those posts. And then, thanks to an email from Libby drawing my attention to this hilarious story, I started a post on poop and it made me laugh and then I couldn’t find a way to finish it so I left it in the crapper. (Though it’s still relevant and I will post it eventually. You have been forewarned.)

There are good days and bad days and for a while the good were outnumbering the bad but then the bad came out a-swingin’. But I do think the good are starting their rally once again. I can tell because I started reading again. Well, actually I should say that I’ve finished what I started reading- in the last few months I started 3 different books and didn’t finish any of them but have now in the last week finished 3 books. None of which were the ones I started earlier. Huh. Go fig.

Reading is a good sign. I stopped doing things that made me “me” including reading and *gasp*shock*horrors* even crocheting. (!!) I haven’t picked up my hooks since the end of July and even my Mister is trying to get me back by waving wool under my nose hoping the smell will waft its way into my control center and turn things around.

I think he was most concerned when I told him I was seriously thinking of selling all my yarn. (!!!) I KNOW!! What the heck has happened to me?? At first I was so frantic and freaked when we first moved here that I sought solace in my yarn. I was all, “I NEED TO BUY ALL THE YARN!” and just about did that. Now the tide has swung and I’m all, “GAH! There is too much yarn! Where am I going to put the baby??” and then I think how much more comfortable she’ll be if she had a proper crib and not just shoved in the closet on top of her mom’s mountain of yarn. I mean, it was cute when I did it with Little Mister, but now I’m going to have a second baby and that makes me a Real Mom now, right? And instead of finding comfort in my stash, I'm feeling overwhelmed because it's much too large for our house and I'll never be able to use it all in my lifetime and it's going to attract moths and my kids are going to be embarrassed about their yarn hoarding mother and all of the homemade things she makes and the way she keeps muttering under her breath, "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? THEN GIVE IT TO ME!"

*HUGE INHALE*

Oh yeah. Did ya catch those pronouns I threw your way? We’re having a little girl! EEEEEEEP!!! Of course, there’s always a possibility the ultrasound tech was wrong, but from the looks of it, there was no stem on that apple. I had a feeling it’d be a girl. Years ago, way before I’d even started thinking about having kids, I would have dreams of having a boy, then a girl, then twins- a boy and girl. When we had Little Mister, I knew he’d be a boy. Now that we’re having a girl, I’m totally freaking out because WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WITH TWINS??? Because, logically, of course, that’s what’s going to happen since I’m obviously able to tell the future with my dreams. I told My Mister that I’m scared to get pregnant again and he said, “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good. You become a different person when you’re pregnant.”

After I burst into tears, farted and then yelled, "TWINS WILL GIVE ME HEMORRHOIDS FOR SURE!!" I had to concede his point.

Yeah. Like I said last time, pregnancy and I don’t really get along all that well. Those dang hormones really mess with me hardcore. Yes, with both pregnancies I’ve had extenuating circumstances that have weighed on me (an international move and my dad’s death, respectively), but I know that it’s more than just that.*

Anywho…thanks again to those of you who have been asking about me. You have no idea how much it means to me. I’m sorry I’m not better about keeping in touch. I think I’m going to declare bankruptcy on emails for now. I haven’t been checking FB, either, so, for friends and family, I’m sorry if you’ve been trying to get in touch with me that way. I’ve not been a complete hermit and have been forcing myself to be at least a little social. I even attended a book club meeting a couple weeks ago and actually had fun! But for the most part I'm torn between wanting to go out amongst the living and actually have fun, or staying home wrapped in bubble wrap waiting for March to hurry up and get here before I really do say the things I'm thinking to all the stupid people of the world. (No, seriously- my tolerance for dumb folks really plummets when I'm pregnant. For my previous co-workers who are reading this: Can you imagine how much I had to bite my tongue with some of our clients last time?? And for my previous clients who are reading this: No. I'm not talking about you.)

Good night, good morning, and good afternoon everyone!


*I’m putting this here for women who may be googling things like I was and finding so very little info on the topic: pre-partum or prenatal depression is real and does not only affect women who were on medications prior to pregnancy and who then abruptly stopped them when they found out they were pregnant. This is a good series of first person accounts, but unfortunately they are all women who fall into the “previously medicated” category. It hit me very hard during the first trimester, has definitely eased up in the second trimester, though still rears its ugly head from time to time, and if it’s going to be like last time, the third trimester is going to be hell. Granted, I was super stressed about the move last time and was in constant excruciating pain, as well. This time there’s no move looming ahead of me and I’m not in constant pain, though it’s still relatively early yet and the physical issues I faced previously have returned (pelvic girdle and pubic symphysis dysfunction…..more on those loverlies later.)

I know I’m not alone with this issue, but goodness, there’s a ton of info and first person accounts on POSTpartum depression, but while you’re pregnant, the possibility of being depressed seems to be verboten. Not every woman is a happy, shining goddess, becoming one with the life that is forming within her, who is just glowing from all the happiness she is filled with. Some of us are miserable, bloated whales who can’t wait for the torture to end so that we can expel all the gas and negativity that we are filled with. At least this time around I know what’s happening….last time I wondered what was wrong with me since I wasn’t like all those other women who just *loved* being pregnant, rubbing their bellies with awe and joy. 

I readily admit I do NOT enjoy being pregnant. Every pregnancy is different and I had high hopes for this one, but unfortunately, those negative feelings returned. It's more than just feeling uncomfortable- like my Mister says, I become a different person when I'm pregnant. Feeling the baby kick is very cool, I must admit, but it's so much better when they are on the outside kicking everyone rather than on the inside kicking your bladder, you know? Anywho...if you stumbled upon this post from googling prepartum depression or prenatal depression, I want you to know you are not alone and you are not crazy. Well, you kinda are, but it's a temporary crazy and does get better once the baby is born. Go talk to your doctor about it. If they just brush you off and tell you your fears, anger, and anxiety are normal, find another doctor who will take you seriously. Sure, a little anxiety about becoming a new parent is normal, but when it is all encompassing and prevents you from living a normal life and makes you think it might be better if you never had this child because you already dislike it, then it is NOT normal. Especially if your pregnancy was planned and the baby was definitely wanted prior to you actually becoming pregnant. Having the baby will definitely change your life and, if you have prepartum depression, it will definitely change your life for the better.

Oops, I Did it Again.

So, anyways. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

(Ok- in order to truly “get it” the way I do, you really need to hear it with the right accent. Nachoooooo!)





One of my friends that I met here (the illustrious Regina who was the mastermind behind the Friday Fibre Friends) moved back to the States last month. She truly has been a bright light for me out here- always upbeat, funny, a fantastic fiber artist and an all-around wonderful person. I will definitely miss her, but I know that she and I will remain friends and I know I’ll see her again when we’re back Stateside.

She emailed me not too long ago and mentioned that hopefully we can do the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival together one of these years (and then she said maybe I can be pregnant again for it…..yeah Regina….because that was the best part of it the last time.)

Once I pulled my eyes out from my skull after the biggest eye roll ever in the history of man, my reaction was, ummm….YES PLEASE! My sister, Lyteyz, and I had so much fun last year and adding Regina in the mix will just make for one heck of a ca-raaa-zy party. There will be laughter and fun and wool and alpaca and lots of fingering……yarns. (TEEHEE!)

Oh yes- the MDSW festival was ah-ma-zing, but being pregnant and being there isn't on my list of "things-to-do-when-I-get-back-home." I’m pretty sure we’re setting our cap at 2 babies, so by the time I get to go back to MDSW, either we'll be past that milestone, or this is going on record as the longest pregnancy EVER.

Wait. What's that? Oh yes. I'm preggers.

AGAIN.

Oh dear Lord. The whale farts. They've returned.


After the initial shock wore off (and the gas cloud cleared) when we first found out (and no, it wasn’t unplanned- we’re at an age and stage in life where we felt like we should pop them out as quickly as possible- pew pew! But still….holy crap….I’m pregnant!?!), we’re finally settling into the idea that we’ll be parents of two soon. Two under two. Oh man. Please excuse me while I throw up scream pass out fart all of the above.

Needless to say, these last few months have been quite the emotional roller coaster for me.

We found out mid-July, the night before we went on holiday to Melbourne (which I still need to blog about). The next day at the airport, the roller coaster started to derail. I went to the restroom before boarding the plane and saw what every pregnant woman dreads seeing when they go the bathroom- especially a pregnant woman who has suffered a loss before. Who knew that such a small amount of blood could turn a world upside down?

Needless to say, our Melbourne trip wasn't the greatest vacation we've ever had. Instead of touring the city, I got pretty intimate with the Melbourne’s Women’s hospital. We got a scan while there, but instead of reassuring us, it actually made us panic more. When we got home, we scheduled another sonogram for one week after our initial scan. That one wasn't very reassuring, either. The very next day, my dad died.

Happy birthday to me.

So, I was battling jet lag, morning sickness, pregnancy fatigue, and a jet lagged baby while traveling all the way across the world, without my Mister there to be my rock, on top of dealing with the possibility that I may have another miscarriage (I was spotting again) and, that icing on the cake, my dad just died.

You guys- I was not in the best place- emotionally, physically, spiritually. Dark clouds, indeed.

I am so very thankful for my friend Ronda who was truly a Godsend for me during this time. Without her, I would have been oh so lonely and may have murdered a family member or two. (Everybody deals with grief in different ways, but sometimes people need to remember they aren’t the only ones grieving- just something to think about if and when any of you lose a loved one…)

I tend to internalize my grief. I become stoic and put on a mask of calmness when internally there is a hurricane brewing. While working on getting things in order for my dad, I was internally preparing myself for the worst- trying to steel my heart against the searing pain I knew was inevitable. I was angry that I was having morning sickness when I was going to lose this pregnancy soon, and why was I pregnant, anyway? I really didn’t want this baby so things just better hurry up and end so that I could stop feeling so nauseated and I could get on with my life.

I really couldn’t wait to get back home. I missed my Mister terribly and I knew he was going crazy not being there with us and especially not being able to take care of me during the incredibly long journey back home. Thankfully, there were many people along the way that helped me with my luggage and carry-on. They saw a frazzled mom with a baby strapped to her front struggling with just getting on the plane- they had no clue I was 2 months pregnant and had just buried my dad. Those people really were answers to prayers!

Still, there were more prayers to be answered. Namely, how was I going to be able to handle another loss so soon after losing my dad? It wasn’t until a couple weeks after I got back to Oz that we were able to get another ultrasound- the one I knew would give me closure one way or the other. Either we would see a heartbeat, or we wouldn’t.

Well, much to my surprise, not only was that little heart pumping away, but our little fighter was bouncing around and waving as if to say, “I’m still here mama! WHEEEEEEE! You need to try this sometime!”

Seeing that little baby in there untied the knot that had been choking my heart ever since I first saw that cruel, red monster that day at the airport. Breath started to slowly fill my lungs once again and I knew I could start focusing on accepting that I was indeed pregnant instead of trying to convince myself that it would be better if I wasn’t.

There’s still a lot of stuff I’m dealing with (and a lot of it has to do with being pregnant….let’s just say pregnancy hormones and I don’t really get along, but more on that later), but, as I said last time, this has let some light break through those dark clouds that have been hovering around me as of late.

Last time around, I blogged so intermittently because I was thiiiiis close to having a nervous breakdown about our upcoming move. This time around, we’re not moving with a newborn (RIGHT, MISTER?!? Because I WILL kill you this time!), so hopefully I’ll be much more present from here on out.

So. Wow. I didn’t realize how freeing it would feel to get all that out. I still have some knots on my heart that need to be untied and some clouds that need to be chased away. But, I must say that I am indeed looking forward to this coming March. It’ll be interesting to see if our new addition will arrive on his/her daddy’s birthday, but I think it’s a very good sign that it’s coming during the month its mother is the most happy. Now, all I have to do is survive these next 6 months…..

Oh dear Lord. Please excuse me. I think I need to fart again.

Far, Far Away

Ok. So now that we have finally moved to a land far, far away, I can finally just rest and take it easy.  I didn't blog about the craziness I've been going through because I've been under way too much stress and didn't want to go through a very public meltdown of epic proportions. (Kuddles asked if I was insane in the comments yesterday...oh girl- you have no idea how close I came!)  As much as I'm excited to be here and am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us, I have to admit that this wasn't the smoothest of moves for us.

Things I've learned when making an international move with a 2 month old newborn:

1) DO NOT make an international move with a 2 month old newborn.

They take up so much time. Know what else takes up so much time? Planning an international move. You have to choose one or the other otherwise much tears and swearing at your husband even though you don't normally swear will occur. As well as feelings of "WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING?!?!" and "Why the heck do I have so much crap??" and "I AM GOING TO DIIIIIE! And I'm taking my husband with me!"

2) Don't put off thinking about the international move in hopes it will disappear.

I've known for a while that this was coming but really could not wrap my head around it since I was a leeeetle preoccupied with being a first time mother. Was my baby going to be normal? What if he's ugly?? (Don't judge me!) Am I going to ruin his life? What if he's a she and they made a mistake in the ultrasound? What if he doesn't like me? Will I be able to breastfeed? IS HE EVER GOING TO BE BORN?? Get this baby out of me NOW!!  I AM GOING TO KILL MY HUSBAND FOR DOING THIS TO ME!

3) Reduce or eliminate the number of hours you work outside of the home.

I was finally able to reduce my work hours to 24 per week mid-April. However, by then I had tons of doctors appointments and other things to take care of on my days off that I never had any time to actually get prepared for this move. I actually liked my job and do miss my coworkers (Hi MrsWilcox!!) but I really really wish I had quit sooner so that I wouldn't have been so incredibly stressed out.

In all honesty, I truly think I may have had pre-partum depression. I was a complete mess and had a very difficult time coping with everything that I was going through and knew that once the baby got here things would become even more difficult. I couldn't move because of all the pain I was in and knew a good portion of that pain was because I sat all day at work. I was bitter about having to work when I knew I'd be stressed out about this move. I was bitter that I couldn't exercise. I was bitter at my husband for "doing this to me." I was even bitter at the baby for not being born and seriously wondered if I would be able to bond with him once he was born since I was so angry. Yes- ANGER is what filled me for a good portion of the end of my pregnancy and it wasn't pretty. I tried keeping things under wraps (I do have a history of trying to be strong and just working my way through things....when will I ever learn??) and just tried biting my tongue so that I wouldn't lash out at my husband or total strangers, but it was getting more and more difficult. In that respect, things definitely got better once I gave birth. Pregnancy hormones suck. And not just for giving me epically long facial hairs.

I've obviously now quit my job and am now officially a Stay At Home Mom. Wow. That's going to be weird to get used to. Actually, a lady here who was helping me get around town told me, "I'm not sure about what cleaning products to get since I work. You'll obviously be better at that than me since you stay home." WHAT THE WHAT?!? I was incredulous at her audacity, but just replied, "Well, I don't know about that. I've only just been home 8 weeks." I was very proud of my restraint! I didn't owe her any explanations and didn't want to come across as defensive by listing my educational and employment accomplishments and I especially didn't want to smack her across the head for being so rude. Ok. Yes I did want to do that.

4) Enjoy the time you have with your family and friends and make as many memories as possible.

Oy to the vey was this an emotional move.  I miss my sister so much more than I can express and have shed so many tears with Lyteyz and other close friends. There are so many folks at my church that I wasn't able to say goodbye to and that sucks. Thank the Lord for Skype! Hopefully they'll be able to invent a way to hug through the internetz. Or maybe Smell-o-Vision. That'd be cool too.

BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!!

Good-byes at the airport. My hormones affected everyone.

Hormones....Nothing More Than...Hormones....

Faster than a nervous breakdown! Able to make grown women weep like a baby! Up in your brain! It's a wrinkle! It's a fart! NO! It's SUPERHORMONES!

Ah yes. Those wonderful, wacky, all-controlling chemicals have some AH-MA-ZING effects on women- especially those of us who have experienced pregnancy and childbirth.  Shall I run down some of the more scrumptious effects for you?

Let me see.... Oh yes- one of the top ten in the Pregnant & Hormonal Woman repertoire: GAS, GAS AND MORE GAS!  Not only is your digestive system slower, but you also have an ever growing mass of HUMAN BEING exerting pressure on all facets of your internal plumbing. Eat some beans? OH GOODY! Here comes a rumbling fart. Waddle down the stairs? FART FART FART with every step! Attempt to bend over to look at the toes you know were once there? Burp! And then fart again, just for good measure! A classic Burp-n-Fart tag team! Also occurs when you roll over in bed, especially if you're rolling over trying trying to seduce your husband with your sexy, sexy, whale of a body. Mmmmm.....whale farts. Never have I felt more manly than during the womanly act of pregnancy.

Hmm....what's another fabulous bodily function under the All-Powerful Hormone's control? How's about some Emotional Instability for ya?  How's about them apples, huh? Someone ask a stupid question like, "What's the baby's name?" for the eleventy bagillionth time? HULK SMASH YOUR FACE! For reals, dad! We did not have a name for him until he was four days old! It was not some sort of conspiracy against you getting a tattoo with his name blazoned across your chest! I wanted to scream like a banshee every time someone asked the same question over and over and over again. STOP PRESSURING ME!! We'll name him Turd Head after you, you stupid cow! O.M.G. I'm going to poop on my poor little baby's head during labor and then he really is going to be a turd head, all because we can't think of a name for him. My precious little baby boy is *sobbing* going to hate me forever *crying uncontrollably* because I pooped on his head and then spent the first few years of his life in jail for ripping that stupid lady's pancreas out of her big stupid mouth!

How about the good aspects of pregnancy hormones? You know- the ones heard of in myth and legend. Such as a "pregnancy glow." Sweet! Oil slicks on your face to make you a bright and shiny farting whale! How about thick, luscious long hair? Oh so amazing.....ON YOUR FACE!!! And, if you're as lucky as I am, you won't realize you have such long, luxurious facial hair until this past weekend when you are shopping at Costco with your sister who oh-so-helpfully tries to take that inch-long "cat hair" off your cheek only to drop it in horror as it makes your lip do an Elvis impersonation since it's firmly attached and has no intention of letting go. EVER. It wants to stay there and grow and grow and grow so you can use it for dental floss one day. Perhaps perm it or twist it behind your ear. Use it as a lasso around your zits that have made their appearance thanks to your greasy pregnancy glowing face. Or perhaps just let it flap in the breeze so total strangers will have the pleasure of admiring your INCH LONG FACIAL HAIR that your sleep deprived eyes and soon-to-be-dead husband never saw. (Seriously, honey??? How could you let me go out in public like that??? Were your eyes still watery from my whale farts?) And I thought all this time the baby was sweetly cooing "Oooooooh," to me after he was nursing. Instead he was saying, "NOOOOOOO!" because he was horrified by his mother's facial tentacle as it tried to strangle him while he ate.

Oh, but those hormones did allow me to have a very adorable and sweet little boy. One that I just can't stop kissing (though now I fear for his life in case another rogue facial hair makes another assasination attempt). Funny enough, before having him, I couldn't stand how much people kissed babies. I would seriously get grossed out with a shiver up my butt every time I would see someone making out with a baby's head. (Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets butt shivers when I get wigged out!) Now? I totally get it. Apparently it's also thanks to those wonderful hormones that make a baby irresistible to smooch.  It's an instinctual behavior that we do to claim them. Like a mother cat licks her kittens, we drench our young with our saliva filled open-mouth kisses to say, "This adorable little bundle of poop is mine!" Hmmm....I guess this means I can stop licking him now. I was feeling so feline with my whiskers, I just couldn't help it.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh…..Why is There a Monkey on My Head??

I’m so very pleased to let y’all know that our little bundle of joy has finally made his appearance. He’s been a long time coming (an almost interminable time in pregnancy years), but I now have a new Little Mister in my life.  I'm so very blown away at how much and how quickly I could fall so totally and completely in love with such a perfect, tiny little human.  He makes us laugh at all his cute little faces and it never gets old when he decides to poop on my Mister just as he's changing his diaper. 

My labor and delivery was exactly like my pregnancy- nothing went the way I thought it would.  A word from the wise- just because you may have a “perfect” birth plan in place and take all the right classes and watch all the right videos, the reality of birth overrides the best of intentions.

I’ve been really busy with feeding the little guy.  I never thought something so small could consume so much all throughout the day.  I also now nominate breastfeeding as a new Olympic sport.  Let’s just say I’ve had to get creative in order to get him to latch well.  However, once he does latch, boy-howdy! Can that little guy go to town!  At this rate, I’ll definitely lose all the pregnancy weight and then some- he’s sucking me dry!

Ok- I don’t have much time before we have to go train for the Booby Olympics again, so I have to wrap this up.  Without further ado, here’s my Little Mister in his Sock Monkey hat I made him. 

A little monkey for our little monkey

ACK! Have you ever seen anything so cute in your life?????  (I’m, of course, not in any way biased at all. Cuteness Spotting is my secondary Olympic sport, after Breastfeeding.)

The following picture is from the first time I tried the hat on him- I didn’t stretch it out* before forcing it onto his cute little noggin.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh…..Why is There a Monkey on My Head??

I laughed so hard I was crying. I am definitely going to have fun with this little child o'mine. :)

* Alterations made to the Sock Monkey Hat pattern: I used Aunt Lydia's Fashion Crochet Cotton size 3 in white, red, black and a dark brown. (Sorry for the non-specific colors...I'll update when I have time.) I held the thread doubled for the hat but single for the eyes and mouth.  I used a Susan Bates size G hook, which is slightly smaller than a Boye size G. (I like using Susan Bates for cotton but will normally use Boye for everything else.) I made the first 3 rows according to the pattern. Then I did a red row with increases.  I then did the brown rows without increasing. Because I had fewer stitches per round than the pattern indicated, my second ear flap location does not follow the pattern's count- just figure out the center and place it there. For the mouth, I chained 12 instead of 15. Since it's cotton, be sure to stretch it out prior to forcing it on a newborn's skull, otherwise you'll have a pretty cranky (if not insanely adorable) little one on your hands. :)

I'm here! Baby is not....

Why hello out there!  Happy Independence Day!! (Ok- I started writing this yesterday but didn’t get it finished. Boo me.)  I’ve wanted to do an update for a while now but, in addition to not having the time and energy after work, the words just didn’t seem to want to come for me.  Mainly because I’m STILL pregnant and most of the words that would come are along the lines of, “I’M SO MISERABLE! When is this baby ever going to get here?  My butt hurts sooooo bad!”  

Yeah…..lot’s of complaining and, as much as being a sullen-still-pregnant woman has become my reality, it really doesn’t lead to a very entertaining read, ya know? (But seriously, if I turn into a 42 weeker, I may quite literally go insane.) 

I do want to say thank you to all of you who have been asking about me!  I've got lots of emails, Ravmails, and comments to respond to. Thank you so very much- I really do appreciate it. :)

As of last week, I am officially on maternity leave. Can I get a HALLELUJER out there??  Since I’ve been off, I’ve been able to just rest, keep my feet up (or “flippers” as my Mister now calls them. He offered to buy me some clown shoes for comfort.  After the impulse to smack him upside the head subsided, I almost took him up on the offer), and even get in a little crochet. Woot!

I’ve designed and crocheted something I’ve wanted to do for a long time- a Mobius wrap.  Here’s a pic of it on my sis. 

More pics- and the entire story, including the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival, AND the pattern- are coming soon.  (Yay! I actually have time to spend on the internets now!  Unless the little one comes tonight….then….well, the next post will not be about crochet.)

Something that I wish I was able to show you right now is my Geekling’s blanket.  Unfortunately, I’ve not finished it since I had other things on my plate. Now, however, that will change and I hope to work on it this week.  (Again, unless he decides to show up tonight.  I’m hoping if I say it enough times, he’ll get the hint and finally make his debut.)  I’ve not stressed too much about not having it done since it’s about 500 degrees outside and I’ll definitely not be able to use it as a receiving blanket.  That being said, I felt bad about not having a blanket made to bring him home in.  As much as I really appreciate all of the blankets I’ve received from my baby showers (Yes! Plural!  I had 3 showers- I’ve got the best family, friends, and coworkers in the whole world!), I just felt like a bad crocheting mom by not having something handmade for him.  So, last week I whipped up this little number.

What looks like a simple dark blue/light blue ripple blanket is actually a nerdy math blanket that is also cute.  The stripe pattern is the Fibonacci sequence and is something I’ve wanted to do FOR-EVAH!  One of my favorite TV shows growing up was Square One- it was a math themed show on PBS.  I learned so much about math with that show!  One of the highlights was the show-within-a-show called Mathnet.  It was a math based spoof on Dragnet and was both educational and very entertaining.  Each weekday they'd have a little piece of the math-based mystery revealed until the grand finale on Friday. 

Well, one of my ultimate favorite episodes had to do with the Fibonacci sequence.  A rich man died leaving a fortune and one of the clues was his parrot who would say, "1, 1, 2, 3. FIVE! Eureka!!"  It has always stuck in my head and I've been thinking of different ways to incorporate it into my crochet.  This blanket was a perfect opportunity! 

Pattern is the Easy Ripple Afghan with the Fibonacci stripe pattern starting with 8 (8, 5, 3, 2, 1, 1).

Until next time- enjoy some Mathnet!

Snips & Snails and Puppy Dog Tails.....

.....that's what my little Geekling is made of. Yayayay!

These last few weeks have been a roller coaster for my Mister and me *(see below), but I'm very happy to report that we were able to cap it off with the wonderful news that our little one is doing very well and that, as one of my dear friends put it, there is indeed a stem on the apple.  Or, as I've said so many times it's now obnoxious but I'll say it again because it makes me giggle: out little peanut has a peanut.

We've been waiting for this news so we can start choosing names- something I must admit that I'm a little stressed about. It's really an important decision to make- something that will have lifelong effects if we make a wrong choice.  We don't want to choose something that's too trendy or so youneek that he's teased throughout school, yet don't want to choose something that is too common, either. Maybe I'll tap into my Native American roots and name him after something I see or feel during birth.  (This is my son, Epidural OhnodidIpoop! He was almost named Episiotomy Iampushingyouwhore, but Epidural has a better ring to it, doncha think?)

I've also been waiting to know the gender so that I can start planning a blanket for reals. I have an idea for one in my mind that I've had for a while. It's something I've thought of since I made my Not Quite Mitered hat which I thought would make a really fun, crazy blanket.



I have a ton of the yarn in my stash (a cotton/acrylic blend for laundering ease) however, I'm not quite sold on it as of yet.  I do think I'll make it into a blanket, but I don't know if it'll be THE blanket, ya know?  Anywho, I've got to really get cranking on this, so hopefully inspiration will soon find me.

Another project that I need to get fleshed out into woolly goodness is something I started on over a year ago but put on the back burner due to the sucky-ness of last year. It's actually a diaper bag that I absolutely adore and I've been wanting to start it again for a while now. However, I could not find the notebook where I sketched it and started the pattern. This notebook also had the pattern for my Coco bag and I was going nuts for weeks trying to find it.  I'm very happy to report that, after some very fervent prayer this evening, I finally found it. It was in the bottom of a box of stuff I had thrown together while "organizing" our house a few weeks ago for the appraiser.  This taught me two lessons: 1) There truly is power in prayer. Why I didn't try that first, I'll never know. 2) I'm never organizing my house again. 
 
Ok- enough updating for now. Time for me to poke my belly to try to get the baby to move go to sleep. Laters.

*(Anytime I pull a disappearing act from here is most likely due to my personal life hitting the crapper. I had a health scare these last few weeks and was preoccupied with many doctor visits and tests. However, I'm very relieved to report I'm doing a-ok. Our sonogram on Friday truly was a wonderful way to cap off two very stressful weeks. I'll be catching up on comments and emails in the next couple days.)

Feed Me, Seymour!

This week, while mostly spent sitting on my butt either driving to/from or attending meetings, marked a turning point for me.  My appetite is slowly returning, my food aversions have abated somewhat, and I haven’t had my indigestion filled belching spells in about 5 days.  AND I picked up my hooks again this week. (!!) Woot!

I’m actually working on a Felted Watermelon Tote for my mother.  It was supposed to be for her birthday in September.  Then, it was supposed to be one of her Christmas presents.  Now….it’s looking more and more like a Mother’s Day gift.  Oh bother.  Actually, I’m heading back home next month for a short visit, so my goal is to have it completed- lined and all- by the time I leave.  Oy to the vey….wish me luck, y’all.

I must admit that I’m thankful my taste buds aren’t as mutinous anymore and are actually letting me eat some of my more regular, healthy foods.  One of my goals is to keep my weight gain in check and a healthy diet is so very important for this.  Unfortunately, the last few months haven’t exactly been filled with adequate fruit/veggies and whole grain, but the tide’s a changin’ my friends.  Thank the Lord since those foods are very fiber rich and I can definitely use more fiber in my life.  Seriously-I’m four months along yet my “baby bump” is actually more of a poop tummy thanks to my slower digestive system brought on by those awesome pregnancy hormones.   As I down yet another glass of Metamucil, I try to remind myself that the bloat is also my adorable little sweetums and I will soon grow into those maternity jeans I prematurely bought on clearance at Target. 

Here’s a pic of me two days ago.

Me, texting my sister: "Where's the baby??"  Her reply: "In your boobs?"

Even though there hasn’t been that big a change in my body so far, I’ve been worried about the changes that will happen ever since I first saw that second line appear telling me my urine had superpowers.  What the heck is going to happen to my body after I, ever so lovingly, expel a miniature human being out of my girlie parts?? I mean, your body cannot go through such an incredible change, growing, stretching, moving and pushing a 7 pound bowling ball out of a 2 inch hole (10cm is small, folks!) without leaving behind some sort of battle scars.  Oh man…what have I gotten myself into???

*hyperventilating break* *hyperventilating break* *passing out break*

*Deep breaths*

Ok.  I think I’ve composed myself again now.  (Ack! No! I choose to ignore you visions of stretch marks and cankles!)  I think I’ll be ok. Focus on the positive, Gege- eyes on the prize.  Finish the Watermelon Tote for your mom.  Mmmm….watermelon.  You like watermelon.  No, no!  Stop thinking about your stomach looking like a watermelon!  I have wool for you!  Yes….that’s it…..breathe it in.  Good girl.  Here’s some Metamucil for you…..you’ll thank me later.

New Year, Old Me

I did not even try to make up a New Year’s Resolution list this year because, let’s face it, what’s the point of starting out a New Year with a list that will highlight and predict all of your future failures?  Instead, I made (and constantly revise/add/delete) a New Year’s Wish List for this year.  Want to know what’s on my list?  I just knew you did!

1) I wish my taste buds would allow me to enjoy the healthy foods (heck, even the unhealthy ones) that I once enjoyed without telling my brain they taste like a mixture of poo and bile.  I’ve heard of the wondrous and somewhat mythical sounding “pregnancy cravings” and am starting to think they exist in the North Pole with Santa and the Easter Bunny.  Food aversions are really making it difficult to be a “practice what I preach” nutritionist and I’m really hoping my poor little Geekling isn’t going to be born with a pre-disposition for picky eating.  That and ugliness.  I really hope it isn’t ugly.  (What?  Oh come on- you can’t tell me you hoped for an ugly baby!)

2) I wish I wasn’t so dang tired at the end of a normal work day and subsequently fall asleep in odd positions on the couch every evening.  Two hour naps right before bedtime does not allow me to do much else except drool on my couch pillows and groggily drag myself upstairs to finish that weird dream where my coworker was pregnant with sextuplets and was casually giving birth to them, popping them out and leaving them where they landed as she was walking down the side of the road and then walking back up the road to pick them up and dust them off.  (She laughed when I told this to her the next day, but as a mother of 5, she truly thought it was a nightmare….for her.)

3) I wish I did not increase my work hours.  I know this sounds horrible, especially in light of the current economy.  While I am very thankful for my job and for the larger paycheck more hours bring, I truly do miss having my crochet days!  How can I run a blog called “Gege Crochet” if I am not able to crochet anymore??  I’m also feeling my rear end expanding by the hour and I am pretty darn sure that my uterus is NOT next to my gluteus maximus, so it’s not “all baby”.  Granted, if I wasn’t sleeping for 12 hours a day, I’d most likely have the time to both crochet AND exercise like I had planned out in my “pregnancy is going to be a piece of cake because I counsel pregnant women all the time and I know exactly what to do to be healthy and not gain too much weight and bounce right back into shape once the little peanut is finally here” plan.  Ok- this sounds like an addendum to Wish #2 above (and quite possibly also the result of some crazyass pregnancy hormones), so I get another Wish #3.

3) I wish that I was dedicated enough to keep my craft zone as organized as it currently is.  While I am looking forward to the day my energy magically returns, which in turn will release the whirlwind of creative frenzy that has been pent up for the last few months, I’m also extremely fearful of said frenzy and how it will transform my precious wool stash into weapons of mass destruction on my house.  It’s currently sitting there, all innocent and precious, just biding its time when it will leap out of its plastic prison and claim my living room in the name of All Things Sheepy, fighting off my vain attempts to control it with their sharpened crochet hooks that look suspiciously like knitting needles.  *shudder*  I think I just developed my new weird dream for the night….

4) I wish I had fallen asleep when my Mister told me to instead of writing this blog post, even though it made me giggle but now has definitely guaranteed a 3 hour after-work nap tomorrow.

Good night, y’all.