Beans, Beans, Good for Your Heart

Why, hello there, dahlinks! How have you all been in the (enter large number of months here) since I’ve seen you last? Me? I’ve been doing well, actually. I mean, for a while there, I may have gone just a tad (but really a lot) cuckoo, but now? Now, everything has been going swimmingly and I finally feel like I can sit down and actually type at this here computer without banging keys randomly while sobbing uncontrollably. It’s a marvelous feeling, actually. Not having panic attacks and sobbing, I mean.

One of the main reasons I’m doing so well has to do with why I started this blog in the first place: crochet. You see, about a year ago (has it really been that long??) I started up a new crochet group (because, due to my intense embarrassment, I couldn’t bear going back to that other one again…) and have actually been hosting it in my house each week. (!!!)

I KNOW! Me! Not only socializing but actually hosting people in my hovel! You would think that would indicate a turn for the worse- obviously I’ve gone truly insane… But I assure you, it actually signaled a turn for the better for me, and I’m so thankful for the power of friendship, creativity, and above all, YARN, to actually bring me back from….well, wherever the heck I was.

It’s because of this (still growing) group of ladies that I have finally felt like me again. It’s been a long, long time coming, but, man. It’s really good to be back.

I started hosting at my place so that I would be able to put SweetPea down for her naps while Little Mister played with the other kiddos his age. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but our morning crochet group gradually turned into a Crochet-and-Lunch group. I think it started because I was hungry (breastfeeding does that to you) and told my guests that I was going to make myself some food, but it was more than enough to share, so PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! And then it just blossomed from there.

Now, after telling them what I was going to make that day, you’d think they’d have checked their watches, made some excuses, and then bolted for the door.  But they did not. They stayed, they ate, they were amazed, and then they asked for the recipe. I told them, “Oh don’t worry! I’ll post it on my blog for you!”

And then I didn’t blog for an awfully long time.

Well, in honor of my dad’s two year anniversary last month, I knew that I *had* to post this recipe. One, because I’ve promised, and two, because he’d laugh and laugh at all the gas. And then he'd probably say his favorite joke, "You have to let them out- they don't pay no rent!" 

You have been warned.

You see, what I offered to make them (well, actually, I was craving it for myself….I really didn’t take their preferences into consideration- heh!) was a bean salad. I love this bean salad. I love LOVE this bean salad. I crave this bean salad. I made it for My Mister and he was all, “Really? Bean salad? I’m not sure this is going to be one of my favor……HOLY FRIJOLE, BATMAN! MAKE IT AGAIN!”

My kids love this bean salad. They love beans in general. They also love farts, but with their genetics, that was inevitable. And now my friends (and their kids!) love this bean salad, so I hope you will, too.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:
 
Beans 

As you can see, they are high in fibre, which is Australian for "fiber."

Canola oil

Apple Cider Vinegar

Salt, pepper, sugar, and garlic.

Celery, carrots, and green onion.

Yes, garlic, too, but with the other ingredients above. He's just trying to be with the cool kids.

And, possibly most importantly of all, BACON. (Aussie bacon is more like Canadian bacon- I actually prefer it to American bacon since it has more meat and less fat.) 

Lower fat bacon = HAPPY BACON!

WHAT YOU DO:

Salad:

Drain the beans and lightly rinse. 

Mmmmm....looks good, right? WAIT! Don't go yet!! It gets better!

Chop the celery and carrots into a medium dice. Thinly slice the green onion- both the white and green. 

Add them to the beans

Cook and roughly chop the bacon and also add to the beans. (If you are either vegetarian, or even vegan, simply omit the bacon. It'll still be good, but you will be missing out. Because BACON!)

Mmmmm....bacon

Salad dressing:

Add the oil, vinegar, salt, sugar, pepper and diced (or super squished) garlic and mix it all.

Pour the dressing over the salad. Mix it all up. 

I only photographed a portion this small so you wouldn't see how much of a pig I am.

Try not to devour it all in one setting.

"Here, mama. I'll show them how much of a pig you are."

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Gege's Beans, Beans Good for Your Heart!

For Salad:
5- 14oz/400g cans of beans (I use a mixture of various kinds- chickpeas, kidney beans,  cannellini beans, butter beans, and even a can of 4 mixed beans.) 

2 large carrots, diced
2 ribs of celery, diced
1 large green onion, thinly sliced

5 middle rashers Australian/Canadian bacon (or regular ol' USA bacon), cooked and roughly chopped or crumbled.

For dressing:
1/4C Apple Cider Vinegar
1/4C canola oil
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 clove garlic, diced (or use a garlic press)
1/4 tsp pepper

Mix all salad ingredients together. Mix vinegar, sugar, salt, pepper, and garlic together. SLowly add oil and mix well. Pour dressing over bean mixture and stir together. 

*Enjoy!

 *Please do enjoy responsibly. There is a lot of fiber in this delicious salad. If your body is not used to a lot of fiber, then I hope you enjoy your....musical interlude....after devouring this meal.

What to Eat When You Don't Want a Heart Attack: Free Recipe

There are so many things about the States that I have missed since living in The Land Down Under- my sister and friends, free refills, the toilet flushing down clockwise*, knowing which side of the road to pull over when I’m being chased by the PoPo - but something I really miss are some of our favorite restaurants. Sure they have McDonalds – they’re Australians, not heathens- but other places like Crisp and Juicy (if you are in the DC area, YOU MUST GO THERE!), Chipotle, Macaroni Grill and, perhaps most of all, Carrabba’s. (Yeah- I eat at all the typical American restaurant chains. I happen to like familiarity and gosh darned tasty food. So sue me.)

WELL. Remember that very loving, smart, Christmas Mayor of Whoville that I married? He not only gives me gifts that he knows I will love and utilize, but he also gives me gifts that he knows he will benefit from, as well. Cute, smart and devious?!? Oh yes, ladies. Be jealous.

I am speaking of course of The Carrabba’s Italian Grill Cookbook.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!? All of your favorite meals from the restaurant conveniently located in your own kitchen so you can cook great Italian meals the way Nana Carrabba did back in the old country, which is, of course, Texas.

My Mister’s favorite meal is the Filet Bryan (pronounced ever so snootily: fee-lay bree-yon. Or at least it’s pronounced that way in our snooty house. Because we are awesome like that.)

The one drawback to being able to cook your favorite recipes is that you get to see just how much butter, fat, and butter they put into it. It’s like you’re eating some steak with your butter. Butter and goat cheese and some more butter, just in case you hadn’t had that heart attack you ordered yet.

Needless to say, this isn’t going in our normal rotation of meals. BUT, since my Mister requested it for his birthday meal, I am willing to oblige him- he’ll get his side order of heart disease and cellulite for Christmas.

To balance out the tremendous amount of fat that went into the meat portion of the meal, I made some Broccoli with Red Pepper Flakes and Toasted Garlic from Cookinglight (this has been a staple in our house for years), and then some roast potatoes of my own devising. It’s based off of a recipe I made when we were first married, back when dinosaurs ruled the earth, and recreated for this meal since I couldn’t find the original recipe and I really did not want to make the artery clogging Carrabba’s mashed potatoes that My Mister usually orders with this meal.

So, here you go- my recipe for some tasty taters. I call them Noah’s Ark Potatoes…because the ingredients go in two-by-two. HEE!


Gege's Noah's Ark Potatoes

A little bit of heart attack to go with the healthy stuff.

Whatcha need:

2 lbs potatoes
2 Tbs Dijon mustard
2 Tbs whole grain mustard
2 Tbs olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp Italian herbs
salt/pepper to taste

Whatcha do:

Preheat oven to 200 deg C or 390 deg F
Wash potatoes and cut into inch sized pieces. Place in 13"x9" casserole dish.


Mix next 5 ingredients (mustard through herbs) in a small bowl and then cover potatoes with it. Mix well to cover the potatoes.

Bake for 45 minutes, or until they are soft and delectable.

Enjoy your non-artery clogging side dish and pray the good fats in the olive oil are enough to conquer the bad fats of the butter.



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*AS IF!! I have no idea which way the toilet goes down either here or in the States. I just make my deposit, hit the button and then get the heck out of Dodge. I don’t dilly dally thinking, “Oh wow- now THAT is a masterpiece. Look how cute my digested food looks going around and around…and, oh my- doth mine eyes deceive me? Is dear darling poopsie going around and around in the wrong direction? *girlish giggle* Those silly Australians! What will they think of next?” 

And for those of you thinking, "Why don't you just flush it when you haven't used the bathroom?" the answer is: because I have a life. *snooty giggle*

What the Devil?

OK- as promised, here’s the first installment of my dairy free (well…almost) week. My goal is to find healthy, dairy free foods that actually taste good because 1) I like to eat good food and 2) Big Mister, who not only loves my cooking but is also a Dairy King himself, pouted and said, “Don’t punish me just because you can’t eat dairy anymore!” Uh, HELLO Honey! This is for the benefit of your son! So, if mama can’t have cheese, ain’t NOBODY gonna have cheese!

First up this week is actually something that I did not make for dinner, was not from Cooking Light, and was not necessarily something I’d brand as “healthy.” BUT! It was dairy free and delicious, so I could eat it to my heart’s content- clogged arteries and chunky thighs notwithstanding.

Turns out I was invited to a potluck brunch Tuesday. Look at me- already making friends and all. *aww shucks*

The hostess, as well as some of the attendees, attend the Friday Fibre Friends meeting- basically a knit and crochet group of women who can’t spell “fiber” that meets on Fridays. Yes- I searched out all things yarny when I found out we were moving here and attended my first meeting the first Friday I was here- jetlagged and all. Don’t get between me and my fibre, yo. (HAHA! My MS Word is obviously smart American and is giving me the red squiggly line under “fibre” because EVEN A COMPUTER PROGRAM KNOWS IT’S SPELLED F-I-B-E-R!)

Anywho, my contribution to the potluck was Deviled Eggs. I LURVE Deviled Eggs and I usually always make them if there’s a potluck we are attending. My Mister loves them, too, so I knew I had to make a few extra otherwise he’d be upset that I made his food for people other than him and that goes against our marriage vows. And, of course he’d know that I made Deviled Eggs for someone else because it made our house smell of boiled eggs which, if you have never smelled boiled eggs before, well…they smell like farts. Like the really bad ones from your old Uncle Charlie who you are pretty sure ate nothing but cabbage, beans, and rotted road kill.

Actual phone conversation with My Mister:

Me: I made Deviled Eggs for the brunch and now our whole house smells like farts.

Mister: What else is new?

Thanks a lot, Uncle Charlie.

Even though I have made these quite a few times, it’s been a while since I made them last and needed to look up the recipe to refresh my memory. And that was roadblock number one. I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I MOVED TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD and do not have access to my household goods, including my cookbooks. Yes- I mailed my yarn, but my cookbooks were much lower on the totem pole of important things in our lives. What good is food if you don’t have your yarn? EXACTLY. There would be no point in living anymore.

Well, considering we live in an amazing time in history where we can access just about any information ever conceived by the quick click of a button, I thought- no biggie! I’ll just google the recipe. It’s from the Betty Crocker cookbook- the red checkered one. “Betty Crocker Deviled Eggs” goes into my google bar and the extremely simple recipe comes back. Right?

WRONG!

They had 300 thousand bazillion recipes for deviled eggs, but not MY recipe for deviled eggs. WTHemorrhoid?!? GAH!

So, I had to reconstruct the recipe from memory. All of the other recipes I saw had quite a few ingredients like relish and eye of newt. The recipe I use is basically just mayo, mustard, and vinegar and they are FABULOUS.

So, I know I have the right ingredients, but I’m not completely sure about the quantities EXCEPT! I remembered that both the mustard and the vinegar were 1 teaspoon each. I just couldn’t remember how many eggs with which that corresponded (but I think it may have been 6), or the amount of mayo needed. Oh well!

The keys to the tastiest farts you'll ever eat

I used:
10 hardboiled eggs (it's best if you don't count them in my pictures. Just take my word for it.)
5 Tbs. Mayo (they don't have Kraft mayo- theirs is a little more translucent, so the filling was...different than I remember it.)
1.5 tsp yellow mustard (they do have French's Mustard. Score one for the Australians.)
1.5 tsp white vinegar
salt and pepper to taste (though I think I put a tad too much salt in mine.)
paprika sprinkled on top. (Gots to have the paprika)


Remove the yolks from the eggs and mash them up with all the ingredients except for the paprika. Place the mixture in a zip-top plastic bag for easy piping. Just snip off a small corner and pipe away.

Yep...ten eggs. Ten whole eggs.

Unfortunately I also don't have my pretty little Deviled Egg platter, so I had to do the best with what I have.

Hmm...not quite there. And there's a funky one in there somewhere

STOP WITH THE COUNTING ALREADY!

I covered them with plastic wrap, but to protect them from getting smooshed from the wrap, I used toothpicks to keep it aloft. Oh wait. No I didn't because I don't have any toothpicks.

Give me some duct tape and a knife and I'll out MacGyver MacGyver

I used plastic tie wraps that came with some freaky freezer bags they have here. I guess they don't do zip top freezer bags- just sandwich bags. Silly Australians.

So, my brunch went well, but unfortunately my eggs were the only non-dairy fare available except for some tasty butternut squash soup. Since I'm breastfeeding and thus need to eat a metric ton every half hour to keep up my milk production, and since I didn't cheat and snack on any of my eggs prior to arriving (you didn't count, right?), I ended up eating a quesadilla and some quiche. One of them has cheese IN ITS FREAKIN' NAME! It should be called the Devil and not my delicious eggs! Stupid satanic cheese.

So, hopefully next week will be my first truly, absolutely, no excuses dairy free week.

Oh, and My Mister did want the leftovers....but then he didn't eat them because he's some germaphobe freak and saw my twisty ties in the eggs and questioned their food grade safety and then said something about not trusting the Chinese. Don't worry- I hid the aluminum foil so he can't wear his hat tonight.

(ETA: HAHAHA! My Mister just read my blog and said, "You're not being fair or specific! I don't know what were their manufacturing conditions!" The aluminum is FAR FAR AWAY!)

Wild Things- Healthy Food Made Fun

Wow.  What an insane day.  Our local mall had their annual Children's Day at the Mall today where hundreds of children partook in dozens of free activities provided by area childhood providers.  There was face painting, puppet shows, dance competitions, and free stuff galore!

My work was there, too, and I've been preparing for this event for a few weeks now, but this week it was down to the wire.  We had a bean-bag toss (the bean bags were fruit/veggie shaped) and a colorful animal hopscotch game to go with the theme of Amazon Adventures.  We had "Monkey Crunch" (a Chex Mix that I threw together- basically wheat Chex, Honey Nut Chex, pretzles, and M&Ms- it was a hit!) and a couple food demonstrations.  I had the kids making Ants On A Log (peanut butter on celery with raisin "ants") and some Wild Wraps that I thought up.  I am absolutely exhausted, but it was worth it to see those kids getting involved with snack making and eating healthy to boot.

For any of you parents who may have a tough time getting your kids to eat their fruits and veggies, this one is for you!

Wild Wraps:

• Lettuce leaves (Butter Lettuce works well, but any leaf you can roll up is good- try a red leaf lettuce to make it pretty!)
• Shredded Apples (Try Fuji or Pink Lady- crisp and sweet.  Also, get some Fruit Fresh to sprinkle on them to prevent browning)
• Shredded Carrots (you can get the ready cut matchstick carrots)
• Craisins and/or raisins (we used both)

Wild Sauce:

• 1/2C Lite Mayo
• 1 1/2 Tbs sugar (can use Splenda if you're diabetic)
• 1Tbs. Apple Cider Vinegar

1. Whisk the Wild Sauce ingredients together- you can put it in a squeeze bottle (like ketchup/mustard bottle) for easy application
2. Put the apples, carrots, raisins, and Craisins in the lettuce leaf.
3. Drizzle the sauce on it
4. Roll it up and enjoy!!

Even my boss was a little skeptical that I'd get this to work- he thought it'd be messy and no kids would be interested.  He was shocked with how popular our stand was!  (Don't pat my back, boss- pat my wallet.) Making healthy eating fun is half the battle when it comes to kids.  Make eating an adventure and let them do things themselves.  We had some items ready made for kids who didn't want to make them- we ended up giving them to the adults.  The kids all wanted to do it themselves!  Remember, we eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths.  If something looks nasty, will you eat it?  Why would you expect your kids to?  If it's colorful and fun, they'll jump right in.  :)

Ok- I'm outie.  I have a cat boobie bag to work on (I swear it won't look anything remotely like cat boobies when I'm done, but I'm afraid that I will always be reminded of that when I see it.  Thanks a lot Sis.) and I'm just enjoying the quiet that I am hearing in my house and letting the Advil (and maybe a Cabernet...) work its magic.  

Until next time- same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Spring Is In the Air

I'm sooo thankful that spring is in the air.  The temps are rising and the sun is shining. The days are getting longer and I can just feel myself getting happier by the day.  I love all seasons of the year; however, I must admit that I really do love it when the days start getting longer and it becomes warm enough to work in the garden.  Starting tomorrow, my garden is going to be filled with the seeds of life that will bring forth the ever so tasty tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, and other veggies I end up planting.  I actually bought 2 raspberry, 2 black raspberry, and 2 blueberry bushes to plant this year.  I CANNOT WAIT!

To celebrate this wonderful season, I made some tasty, springy, sandwiches for my Mister and me.  I used:

2 slices of my low-cal/high fiber bread (80 kcal)

3 oz canned chicken breast (would be great with fresh, but use whatcha got) (60 kcal)

1oz luscious creamy brie (100 kcal)

1 Tbs low fat mayo (50 kcal)

some Grey Poupon

1/4 C fresh organic spring spinach and field greens

and 2Tbs canned cranberries we had left over from Thanksgiving.  (50 kcal)

= ~375 kcal of spring time deliciousness

The tartness of the cranberries and the pungency of the Dijon mustard creates a fresh, spring flavor explosion in my mouth.  I wish I had some fresh baguette to utilize with this tasty treat.  Crack open a chilled bottle of crisp Sauvignon Blanc while eating this delicious sandwich and you will be transported to an outdoor bistro filled with sunshine and the glorious smells of freshly baked bread.   My Mister loved this sandwich- I know you will too.  Thank God for Spring!

Lighten up!

Hello y'all! To my fellow USA'ers, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving....to everyone else, I hope you had a great Thursday...at work. Hee! I LOVE to cook and Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love waking up in the morning with my game plan ready- knowing which dish to start cooking first to ensure everything comes together by 1:00pm. This year, I clocked in at 12:54- whew! Just made it with 6 minutes to get myself cleaned up before our guests arrived. Thankfully, they were a little late since I have yet to perfect my Wonder Woman spinning change technique.

I know how difficult it is to resist stuffing yourself to the brim with all the delicious Thanksgiving fare. I love to cook because I love to eat! However, the nutritionally educated side of me does always kick in- I do have to practice what I preach! So, for each dish, I do try to lighten it up as much as I can without sacrificing taste. One of the places I turn to to new recipes is Cooking Light. I have been subscribing to that magazine for about 8 years now- I love their recipes and I love that they provide nutrition information for everything! I have made their Streuseled Sweet Potato Casserole since I first saw the recipe 6 years ago. It's one of my husband's favorite dishes and I get requests for the recipe every time I serve it to others. Phenomenal!

One of my favorite dishes has always been Pumpkin Pie- I.LOVE.IT. I use Libby's canned 100% pumpkin- I love that they don't add any salt or sugar- it's just pure pumpkin. I also use their traditional Pumpkin Pie recipe from their cans- with a few tweaks. I use Evaporated SKIM milk instead of evaporated whole milk. Also, instead of sugar, I use Splenda. I do tend to swap Splenda for sugar for most things I bake. Splenda will prevent proper rising of baked goods, so I will sometimes use half sugar half Splenda if the dish didn't rise sufficiently the first time around. I like that Splenda has zero calories, can be swapped equally for sugar (no conversions needed) and tastes almost exactly like sugar. I don't like it in my coffee because I can taste the difference- I do love it in my oatmeal, though.

Just by swapping out those 2 ingredients, I save a whopping 95 calories PER SLICE of pie! The regular Libby's pie has 250 calories per slice. My lightened version- 155!! (I use a plain ol' frozen pie crust....though I like making things from scratch, I do take few selected short cuts...so sue me.) Since I didn't know if my guests would balk at a "diet" pie, I made one regular pie (with the skim milk, though- 224 calories per slice) and one "diet" pie. I had my guests do a taste test and they could not tell the difference between the "real" pie and the "diet" pie. Their waistlines, however, could.

Nutritional breakdown per slice of pie (for standard 9" pie crust, 8 slices per pie):

155 calories
6.5 g protein
6.3 g fat
18 g carbohydrate
1.5 g fiber
162 mg calcium
11,991 IU vit. A (almost 3 times the daily recommend value!)

To shave off 5 grams of fat and 45 calories, eat the pie filling and not the crust....though a tasty crust is part of the Pumpkin Pie experience...

This is just one of the ways I lighten up my Thanksgiving meal. Even though most of my dishes aren't as calorific as their traditional counterparts, I do have to employ portion control- too much food- even "lite" food- is not good dietary practice.

Well, it's just about lunch time for me- time to bring out all the tasty leftovers and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Have a wonderful weekend!