Friday, March 20, 2015

Frustrated

I’m sitting here frustrated right now. Frustrated because I have a blog post all ready to go but have been having issues getting (and editing) pictures of the stuff that’s in the blog post. Stuff I’ve been working on these last few months because I’ve been doing a heck of a lot of crocheting and knitting lately. A lot. And I’ve even finished a few things, too. INCLUDING weaving in ends. (I KNOW! I almost fainted reading that, too!)

I’m sitting here frustrated because I’ve been looking up patterns and goofing around on Ravelry instead of weaving in more ends on my projects. (DUDE. Where are the end-weaving fairies when I need them? Hmmm…..the kids are awake. Maybe I’ll teach them how to do it. They need a break from vacuuming, anyway. After they give me my pedicure, of course.)

I’m sitting here frustrated right now because I have had so much to write and say and show my friends and family (and those of you who seem to wander by now and again) and yet haven’t because I can’t get those freaking pictures out RIGHT NOW so I’ve been silent instead of just posting things that I’ve been thinking and it’s giving me anxiety because I really really really want to write. And blog. And connect with people.

I’m sitting here frustrated right now because, to be honest, I’m lonely. I miss my friends from Australia and my friends from here that I've not been able to connect with yet, and I haven’t been able to join a crochet group or create one while here and, gosh darn it. I really miss talking to people. People who aren’t toddlers. People who can actually wipe their butts by themselves and don’t need constant supervision all of the STOP! DON’T PUT THAT UP YOUR NOSE!

I’m frustrated right now because I’m feeling guilty spending time writing this instead of spending time with my kids at this very moment. I just sent them downstairs to play so they would stop touching my computer with their sticky little hands so I can finish up this post before my words leave me and they’re playing together and I don’t hear any screaming or maniacal laughter, so I should just be happy that I have some peace and quiet and not feel guilty, BUT I DO! THE GUILT! THE GU…ok. I’m better now.

I’m feeling frustrated right now because things are going really well for me and my family and I should be content and happy and farting rainbow unicorns and yet I’m dwelling on my frustrations because I’m afraid that if I let my guard down then ALL THE BAD WILL COME AGAIN! Oh no….here comes a smile. I feel it…it’s pushing up my cheeks….it’s moving to my eyes….I’m feeling a little bit better….I’m feeling…WATCH OUT! BUBONIC PLAGUE!
 

Things truly have been going well for us- we haven’t been sick in weeks, we’re getting settled in, and spring is here, which always lifts my spirits. I’m going to send a note to a few people I’ve been meaning to connect with and haven’t because of one distraction or another. If you’re reading this, may I please encourage you to reach out to someone- the person who just popped into your head now as you’re reading this- just to say, “Hey- been thinking of you!” They may be feeling lonely, too, and that little acknowledgment from you may be the very thing they needed to hear.

Much love to all, but I must go now. There are butts to be wiped.

4 comments:

  1. Dear, your work is very beautiful and would love to see again their projects, I am eager to see them !!!

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  2. Thank you so much, Sandra. <3 It's nice to know there are still folks out there who check in on me. :)

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  3. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your weblog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing on your feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!

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  4. I am extremely impressed along with your writing abilities, Thanks for this great share.

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