Friday, December 23, 2011

All I Want For Christmas Is My Gummy Bear

So I woke up this morning and was snoozily feeding Little Mister in hopes that he'd fall back asleep but instead I startled him awake with my own ear splitting screech because the little turd my dear sweet darling had gummed me really, really hard. He of course then looked up with me and smiled his heart melting, little gummy smile that he reserves for me alone during feedings. The smile that says, "Oh there you are mama! I missed you!" as well as, "TEEHEE! I'm a carnivore! NOM NOM NOM!"

It's been weeks since he started teething- or at least what I assumed was teething. He has had the droolies, the gnawing on everything in sight, the grumpiness and the clinginess going on. He's been inconsolable at times- usually in the evenings when his daddy gets home which means poor Big Mister rarely gets to see the happy, smiling, laughing little baby I get during the day. Well, for parts of the day, anyway. There are so many times when I know he's tired. I know he's hungry and that nursing him will help make him feel better as well as knock him out cold, thus making me feel better. But he does not want to eat. Nor does he want to sleep. He wants to fuss and be an all around grump for an extra 30 minutes before he finally relents and believes me when I lovingly coo to him, "You're sleepy tired and mama needs you to go to sleep now before her head splits in two and then you'll have to live the rest of your life with the guilt that you killed your mama and you don't want that hanging over your head, do you sweetie pie?"

I've been hoping that his tooth/teeth would hurry up and poke through so that he wouldn't have to greedily shove my hands in his mouth whenever he got them in his iron clad grasp. I've given him all sorts of teething rings and suckers and even tried an icy sock, but all to no avail. The only teething relief he enjoys is human flesh, and as my friends, in-laws, and his doctor have all found out, he latches really well. In the midst of a particularly furious hand-gnawing session, my father-in-law even asked me, "Has he ever...uh....hurt you....uh........," and I let him know that I've been very lucky in that respect. 

It's mine! All mine!!

As the days turned into weeks and no teeth showed up, I started second guessing my assessment- perhaps he wasn't really teething, after all. Perhaps I just do have a slobbering grump as a baby who is only truly happy when he's eating or otherwise gnawing on human flesh. Perhaps he's a vampire. I knew I shouldn't have read the Twilight series while pregnant. Wait a second. Does he sparkle in the sunlight? 

And then this morning, when I was Skyping with my sister, she took a screenshot of my little Dracula taking a bite out of my hand, which she thought was very funny.

She's so gorgeous that it looks like she's posing even though she's merely laughing at me being turned into the undead.

It was right after this picture was taken that I realized there was a sharp thing in his mouth that was poking me and it kinda hurt. I hope he didn't swallow one of my toenails or something. And then it dawned on me. My Little Gummy Bear finally got his first tooth. 

*Quick inhale while fanning my face* 

He's growing up too fast!! 

*sobbing*

*dawning on me that he wasn't gumming me this morning as he was nursing*

My poor, poor booblies. 

I miss my Little Gummy Bear already.

6 comments:

  1. I remember when my brother got his first teeth, He bite me at my thumb

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  2. OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

    Haven't never had the 'pleasure' of nursing....I can only imagine the full impact on your uh......items!

    They DO grow up so fast!

    kuddlekubs

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  3. Okay wait, 'haven't never'??? I guess that college degree did me NO good!

    LOL

    kuddlekubs

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  4. Ok, just for minute there you sounded like the mother on Tangled (have you been able to see that)...It made me laugh so hard.

    Not so much boob envy going on right about now. I hope your "booblies" survive.

    Xoxo to little mr. And some xo's for you too. Miss y'all.

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  5. It does get worse (and I was advised to thump their cheek quickly and remove them when they bite). Almost all of mine bit more than once, but we got through it and they nursed with full mouths of teeth:)

    On another note....several of mine liked to teeth on frozen (or even just cold) pickles.....sweet and dill. Might be worth a try. We also did frozen veggies:0

    Miss you all
    Tami

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  6. Bali- ha! your brother doesn't happen to be named Charlie, does he?

    Kuddles- well, I'll be...I a'int never heard nothin' so wrong in the grammer in my whole dang life. ;)

    Lyteyz- OH YES! Mother knows best! (As an aside, my sis has that song as a ring tone for my mom.....ha!)MIss you so much! Big hugs and kisses to your little ones, too. I hope your little man is doing better!

    Tami- thanks so much! I had no idea what to do when he bit. I've heard "bite him back" but I don't think I can bite my little 5 month old...at least not for reals. I eat up his fat cheekies every day, but that's not the same thing, ya know? I've tried the cold stuff- he HATES cold! I keep offering it to him just to see his face scrunch up in disgust, but he truly only likes our hands! Oh- he does like Sophie the Giraffe, too. Probably because her feet look like human fingers. ;)

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