Mommy Time

Sorry for the sporadic blogging as of late. It goes with my sporadic mental and physical capabilities, not to mention my sanity. Dude. How can such a little person demand so much time and energy? I've just spent the past 3 hours trying to get him to take a nap. I tried nursing him, rocking him, singing to him, downing a fifth of whiskey....NOTHING WORKED!

I know he was tired- it wasn't just my wishful thinking- yet he just refused to sleep unless it was in my arms. The kid weighs 19 pounds (yes, at 4 months- I wasn't kidding when I called him my Baby Huey. The kid can eat.) and I've got a crick in my neck from holding and jiggling him around for the past 13 months (heck yes I'm counting pregnancy! I'm not letting him live that down!)  Although I love him to bits and I love him when he's a happy baby (which, thankfully, is more often than not) and I enjoy playing with him and finding new tickle spots to hear him laugh with his gummy little mouth, I am ashamed to admit that I can't help thinking, "How can I knock him out so I can have some ME time?!?"

I have discovered that I am the most selfish person in the whole world and am obviously not cut out for the very selfless occupation of motherhood but it's too late to give him back and I don't think I can shove him back up the way he came down even if I tried. And then I think how precious he is and how much I love him and how the heck can I possibly think of going back to living without him in my life and I end up flogging myself for being the worst mother in the whole world. AND THEN HE STARTS TEETHING. Oh dear God the crankiness and the clingy-ness. I'm nursing around the clock to try and pacify him only to discover that he'd rather suck on my fingers than my boobies and I wish I would have discovered that before he started reacting in fear whenever I whip out a boob because even babies can get scared of the deranged topless woman chasing them about saying, "Just put it in your mouth and go to sleep!!!"

AND NOW HE WOKE UP! Three paragraphs! That's all I got out before The Cranky Wonder woke up from his "nap." More like a "I'll-close-my-eyes-for-a-minute-to-trick-her-into-thinking-she-can-have-time-away-from-me-and-then-I'll- yell-SURPRISE!!!-I'm-awake-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it!"

(I just placed him on his playmat so I can at least hopefully finish this blog post. I'm also ignoring his fussy "almost" cries but will leap into action when they turn into "for reals" cries.)

Oh crap. The "real" cries.

So much for Mommy Time.

A Sleep Disturbance In the Force

Ok. I’m back from my mini-blogging sabbatical. It was a necessary break, especially since I’m not sure if my fingers would have been able to get out any coherent words from my extremely sleep deprived brain. I wasn’t kidding when I said this lack of sleep thing was getting to me. I’ve been speaking to people and have been at a loss for words- common words like “book” and "the"- and have had a very difficult time keeping track of the days of the week. However, when Big Mister asked if I wanted him to hold Little Mister and walk him around since he was being fussy and not falling asleep and my reply was, “I don’t know. Just throw him in the river,” and then burst into tears, I realized that I REALLY needed sleep.

I’ve been “surviving” on one hour chunks of sleep at a time for the last (almost) 4 months. The crazy thing is that Little Mister has been a good sleeper; however he likes to eat. A LOT. He’s been doing great sleeping in his crib from around 7pm to midnight or so, but as I said before, I’ve not been going to bed until 11, so that is the first 1 hour chunk of sleep. Once I bring Little Mister back to bed with us since I’m so tired and groggy, he likes to eat every 1-2 hours until Big Mister’s alarm goes off. I AM DYING.

In a moment of lucidity, I wondered if the fact that I was keeping him in bed with us was part of the problem. I mean, he couldn’t really be STARVING every 1-2 hours, right? He’s just sleeping and bumps into me and realizes how convenient it is to have his food right there. Think about it- if you were sleeping and had a jonsing for a midnight snack but were too lazy to get up and get one so you turned over in your sleep and Hallelujah! There's a Snickers bar poking you in the eye! Wouldn’t you just thank your lucky stars, open your greedy little mouth, and chomp away? Exactly! So I can’t blame the little guy for eating all night long when my Snickers bars keep poking him in the eye every time he turns in his sleep. Light bulb moment, folks.

So, this past week I wised up and thought I’d go to bed at 8 to try to get in a good 4 hour chunk. As I laid in bed with my eyes closed and my brain refusing to shut down until 11, I couldn’t help but think of all the things I could be doing since I didn’t have a baby attached to me. (I also dreamt up many new designs…one of which I finished yesterday and am starting the second one to test the pattern. Kuddles- you up for testing sometime in the next couple weeks??). When I finally fell asleep, it was time to bring little Mister back to bed and feed him. He ate and fell back asleep and I put him back in his crib, hoping to cut off his Snickers addiction. I blearily got back into bed and was trying to fall back asleep when this horrendously loud snarling Tasmanian Devil war cry started reverberating around the room. How was I going to fall asleep with a warring faction of Tasmanian Devils on the loose in my room??? When my brain kicked in, I realized it was my Mister who was snoring like he was out to win a snoring competition.

AND INHALE *snort up living creatures and gargle with them* AND EXHALE *bark like a seal and blow raspberries on the windows*

OH DEAR GOD IT WAS LOUD.

I remembered I had bought some Breathe Right strips at the end of my pregnancy since My Mister said I started snoring at night. So I crept into the bathroom and dug around until I found them. I then tried to stealthfully ninja attack Big Mister’s nose with one of the strips. I peeled the backing off the sticky side, placed it on his nose and then pinched it with all the strength of millions of sleep deprived mothers everywhere. IT WORKED! The awful sound stopped! Big Mister jolted out of sleep scared out of his wits and was pawing at his injured nose. I swatted his hand away and stage whispered, “LEAVE IT ON! YOU WERE SNORING AND THIS WILL HELP YOU SLEEP!” because I’m a good wife and only care for his health and well being.

He must have believed me because he turned over and fell right back asleep. NO MORE SNORING! Score one for ninja nose pinching!

I crawled back in bed and finally started dozing off when Little Mister realized he didn’t have a Snickers bar in his eye. GAH!

I persevered this week, however, and continued to put Little Mister back in his crib after feeding him. It seems to be working- the last few nights he woke at 12:30, 4:30, and then 7:30. (!!!!) AMAZING!!!!

I’m not rejoicing just yet, however, since he’s done this before- had a “routine” for a couple days and then WHAPOW! Let’s change it up just for the heck of it!! HAHA! Sleep depriving mommy is fun! Teach her to take away my Snickers!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anywho…hopefully things will start to improve this week. I truly am an addled brained mess right now but I’m going to try and go to bed at 8 at least once or twice this week and will be back with my Weekly Meal Planning next week. (As an aside- this dairy free thing is working so well! No more bloody stools and even the frequency of Little Mister’s marathon pooping has decreased! Although, it might have been better when he pooped all day long rather than in just a couple bursts throughout the day since he’s now having diaper blowouts nearly everyday. Like this past Friday at my Friday Fibre Friends group. It wasn’t too terrible until I realized that I pulled my favorite noob mommy mistake and didn’t pack him an extra pair of clothes….AGAIN. When will I learn???!?)

Just because I'm wearing a cute beanie doesn't take away from the fact that I'm naked, mother.

* NOTE: Just because I know Big Mister will be mortified to know I told the world he sounded like a Tasmanian Devil in heat, I want to let y'all know that he does not usually snore. But when he does, he wins competitions. He's THAT good. (War cry...in  heat...same diff.)

*Double note: Cute green knitted beanie was made by new Fibre Friend Miranda who is one heck of a talented, crafty lady!

Things to Do In the Car

Today I spent the day sticking bamboo shoots in my nail beds. Oh wait. I mean cleaning my house. So I spent the evening crocheting (finishing up a möbius wrap for my sis- need to mail it soon!) and then started back up on damnyouautocorrect. I LOVE THAT SITE! This one just cracked me up b/c it's something that I might say....for reals. Teehee!

Best Laid Plans and All That

So, I planned my weekly menu yesterday counting on being fed tonight but, being the ravenous smart girl that I am, I planned for some sort of cheese heavy meal and ate dinner prior to going. Well, I ate a bowl of cereal, actually, just in case there was some delicious dessert that would be offered and I could snarf it down guilt-free. (FYI- I've been using rice milk in my cereal and I must admit I really really like it. It may be a challenge for me to go back to skim milk once Little Mister outgrows his allergy. Rice- it does a palate good.)

Well. The "food" offered? CHEESE AND CRACKERS! With some cream filled cookies to tempt the gourmands in attendance. Smart girl, indeed.

So, this means that we weren't able to eat dinner and I had to move up my plans for the Thai Basil Beef meal I was planning on cooking tomorrow. This happened to be the best decision EVER! That meal was DA BOMB and I don't usually say DA in real life unless I'm in a wool induced coma and am all, "DAAAAAAAA," with drool dripping down my chin.

We got home later than our usual dinner time and I was really afraid that Little Mister was not going to handle it well. He has his cranky time around 6:30/7pm if we don't nail his nighttime feeding just right and he had already fallen asleep in the car after sucking his poor little fists at the "party" until they were little bitty nubs. My poor poor hungry little nubby-handed boy.

FYI: I am totally blessed with my Little Mister. He is actually a really REALLY good baby. He only gets fussy when he's hungry, but if he's tired and hungry, he transforms into El Diablo. Takes after his mom in that respect. Because of that, I get VERY anxious if we are out anywhere during The Cranky Hour because he's such a happy little chap if I feed him right away and he will actually fall asleep by himself in his crib without fussing IF I time it just right. Well, at least that's been happening for the last few days. With his track record, that may very well change tomorrow. The only thing predictable about him is that he's unpredictable. So, as you can imagine, I was getting just a wee bit anxious the longer we stayed out tonight. Thankfully I didn't insult anyone we met (I hope) but I know I interrupted a few people while I tried to get Big Mister's attention as Little Mister's hand started disappearing down his gullet. ("Honey? I think we have to leave pretty soon." "Uh, Mister? it's almost time to go." "HEY! WE NEED TO GO NOW. Thank you. Teehee."

So, we finally get home and Big Mister is hungry so I start making the Thai Basil Beef meal since Little Mister was still asleep in his car seat. I was able to get a pot of water boiling and put the meat in the pan when the frightened, panicked cries of my sweet Little Diablo let me know that we would have to wait a little longer for dinner.

Well! Big Mister was way too hungry to wait for me to finish feeding our little guy, so I told him what to do- just follow the recipe and make the dinner. (He ran interference for me and changed Little Mister's diaper and put his pajamas on which gave me enough time to get the asparagus washed and trimmed, but not cut, so Big Mister had some prep work ahead of him.)

Now, just so you can understand the magnitude of this: Big Mister does not like cooking. DOES NOT. I would ask him to help me make a lasagna by grating the cheese for me, you know- thinking it would be all romantic and stuff. He ended up buying the cheese that was already sliced just to get out of it. The closest he gets to "helping" me in the kitchen is tasting the food for me for Quality Control. This is why his offer to help me cook our Valentine's Day meal is such a huge, romantic ordeal. It's a real big sacrifice on his part and I love him for it. (That being said, he does do the grilling. Must be a man thing.)

JUST SO YOU KNOW- as a testament to both how hungry My Mister was (although he doesn't transform to a murderous snarling creature from the underworld as I have been known to do), AND how very easy this meal was to prepare, HE COOKED OUR DINNER TONIGHT!!

DUDE!!!!

Granted, he did have to go back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom to ask me questions, but the fact remains that, when given enough motivation, My Mister can cook me dinner!!! DOES HE REALIZE THE POWER HE'S GIVEN ME?!?!

Thai Basil Beef...totally DA BOMB.

Weekly Menu

Alllllrighty then. So my menu planning is a day late, but it ends up being a good thing for me since I would have planned a meal for tomorrow night but found out today that we have a thing we have to attend at which they will be serving food. FREE FOOD. Oh yeah, baby. I’m all up in that bizniz. I don’t have to cook and it’s FREE. However, if it is free and full of cheese, I may very well become very cranky and make a terrible first impression on these people and that would be….not.good.captain.

I can just see it now- I’ll be tired and starving- already a recipe for disaster- and they’ll serve pizza and cheesecake and say nice things like, “So nice to meet you!” And I’ll reply, “Whatever, queer. This party blows and I hope you choke on your delicious pizza and gooey cheesy goodness. Loser.” And then My Mister will be ashamed and shout to the heavens, “WHY?! Why did I have to marry a cheese lover?? WHYYY???” while shaking his fists in despondence.

So, in other words, please pray that they have some dairy free foods for me because seeing My Mister shaking his fists in despondence may make me laugh and that won’t be good for our marriage since you should never laugh at your husband when he is despondent.

ANYwho… I’ll only be cooking twice this week, which is awesome. Although I do enjoy cooking, I also enjoy spending time with both my Misters while relaxing and letting the microwave do its magic, ya know?

Tonight we had leftovers from the Lecso I made on Saturday. We loved it! Definitely going into my regular rotation- thanks Kara! I used both red and green peppers, canned tomatoes, and ended up using brown rice instead of Jasmine since I ran out of Jasmine when I made the paella. For those of you who don’t think you’ll like brown rice, try making it with chicken or beef broth for some amazing flavor. Seriously- every time I make brown rice, My Mister always mentions how good it is. Give it a try! For those vegetarians out there, instead of chicken or beef broth, you should probably suck on some rocks because what good is life if you can’t eat dead animals? I’m already giving up the cow juice but it will be a cold day in hell before I give up the entire cow.

For Wednesday, I am going to try Thai Basil Beef with Rice Noodles from Cooking Light. (OH LOOK! A cow!) Looks promising and I have been in the mood for Asian food lately, so crossing my fingers that this will be a winner.

For Friday, I’m breaking out the slow cooker and making a beef pot roast. (MORE COW!) I’ll trim the fat and then season it with salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, and garlic and brown it on all sides before placing it in the slow cooker. I’ll cut up some potatoes and add some baby carrots and sliced onions and then place the beef on top. Throw in a couple bay leaves and about 1/2C beef broth and set it on slow for ~6 hours. I’ll serve a side salad and some bread to sop up the juice. I’ll also make a packet of brown gravy…hopefully I can find them here. No added fat and VERY tasty.

I’m always on the lookout for some good crock pot recipes. Have any to share?? Also, I’m really looking for a good meatloaf recipe. I remember how my mom would make them when I was a kid but, even though she’s an amazing cook, meatloaf wasn’t one of my favorites. I’ve actually never made one since we’ve been married and I’d really like to give it a go. So, if you have a good meat loaf recipe, please let me know!!


Til next time....