Sleep Training

So the last couple of days have been spent trying to get adjusted to our new area, as well as the time changes. I must say that, as difficult as moving with a newborn was, it probably helped us adjust to the time difference rather quickly. Once you’re used to not sleeping much, jet lag is a breeze.  One thing that was frustrating was that Little Mister was finally sleeping through most of the night before we left. He was waking up once in the middle of the night and then again right around when the alarm would go off. Baby sleeping more = we sleep more.  Moving to the other side of the world = ARGH.  

Well, thankfully he has adjusted rather quickly, as well, and once again had a night where he woke up only once to eat. So….we decided to try letting him sleep in his crib. He held up his end of the deal- sleeping 5 hours straight- so we had to hold up our end- putting him to sleep in his crib. Oy to the vey. 

Here’s how it went down: 

7:30- Feed him for what ended up being the last time that evening. He starts to fall asleep during feeding.

8:00- Since I'm able to read my baby soo very well, I figure he'll eat again around 10, so I give him to Big Mister to bathe/entertain while I take my shower

8:05- Listen to Big Mister struggle with bathing a cranky baby who was forced awake just to have a bath.  Hmmmm....I must have misjudged my baby. Oh well, I'm still learning.

8:30- Take Little Mister from Big Mister who keeps on saying, “I don’t have the magic touch! He’s just so cranky and won’t fall asleep for me!”

8:31- Inwardly smile knowing I have the “magic touch” and can soothe my baby and daddy can’t. I’m the best mom in the world.

8:35- Wonder where my magic went as I’m jiggling the baby and trying to soothe him but the darn kid is too cranky. Note to self: rethink bathing necessity. He may smell a little, but at least he won’t be cranky. 

9:00- Finally put him in his crib and turn on his musical mobile. He’s distracted by the light, sound, and movement so he quits fussing. GENIUS!

9:05- He’s asleep. In his crib. All by himself.

9:08- Happy my baby is able to sleep all by himself. Without his mommy. That's the goal, right? Self soothing. No mama required. Yep. That's what we wanted. Right?

9:10- WAAAAAHHH! (That was the baby, I swear.)

10:00- Being unbelievably exhausted, I am able to fall asleep next to my husband and not worry about squishing the baby.

10:01- Worrying about not hearing the baby

10:02- Worrying about whether or not the baby is going to be warm enough all by himself in his crib

10:05- Worrying about…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

10: 45- Hear Big Mister get back into bed. Ask what happened. His response: The baby was making noises so I went to check on him.

10:46- I AM A BAD MOTHER! I didn’t even hear my baby fussing all by himself in his crib and my husband did. He’s all alone and fussing and I didn’t even….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

11:00- WHAT WAS THAT? Was that the baby? I better check on him before my husband has to. I want to be a good mom!

11:01- Stare at my baby asleep all alone in his crib…peacefully. 

11:05- Back in bed. Straining my ears to see if I hear anything. Nope. Nothing. I am a good mom.

11:20- WHAT WAS THAT??? I’m a good mom. Is that the baby? I need to check since I’m a good mom.

11:21- Staring at my still peaceful baby who is still sleeping. 

11:25- Back in bed. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

12:30- I’M A GOOD MOM! What was that?? Must check the baby.

12:35- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

1:30- What was that? Was that the baby? I hope it’s the baby. It’s been many hours since he last ate and I don’t want him to starve. I’m feeling engorged. He better wake up soon. Should I wake him up? What would a good mom do? Egads my boobies are hurting. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

1:32- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2:30- ACK! That was the baby for reals this time! He’s crying! He’s hungry! He’s starving and needs his mom! Don’t worry little baby! Mama is on her way! You have the best mom in the world!

2:33- Back in bed. Feeding my baby. Note that his feet are cold since I didn’t put socks on him. WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOESN’T PUT SOCKS ON HER BABY??? A bad mom, that's who. I'm a bad mom! I made my baby freeze! Look at his little cold feet. Look at his little cold cheeks. Look at his adorable little face. Look at....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As you can see, it's obvious that Little Mister has some separation anxiety issues we need to work on. Oh well. He'll be able to handle being in his crib all alone soon enough. After all, he's got the best mom in the world here to help him.

Far, Far Away

Ok. So now that we have finally moved to a land far, far away, I can finally just rest and take it easy.  I didn't blog about the craziness I've been going through because I've been under way too much stress and didn't want to go through a very public meltdown of epic proportions. (Kuddles asked if I was insane in the comments yesterday...oh girl- you have no idea how close I came!)  As much as I'm excited to be here and am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us, I have to admit that this wasn't the smoothest of moves for us.

Things I've learned when making an international move with a 2 month old newborn:

1) DO NOT make an international move with a 2 month old newborn.

They take up so much time. Know what else takes up so much time? Planning an international move. You have to choose one or the other otherwise much tears and swearing at your husband even though you don't normally swear will occur. As well as feelings of "WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING?!?!" and "Why the heck do I have so much crap??" and "I AM GOING TO DIIIIIE! And I'm taking my husband with me!"

2) Don't put off thinking about the international move in hopes it will disappear.

I've known for a while that this was coming but really could not wrap my head around it since I was a leeeetle preoccupied with being a first time mother. Was my baby going to be normal? What if he's ugly?? (Don't judge me!) Am I going to ruin his life? What if he's a she and they made a mistake in the ultrasound? What if he doesn't like me? Will I be able to breastfeed? IS HE EVER GOING TO BE BORN?? Get this baby out of me NOW!!  I AM GOING TO KILL MY HUSBAND FOR DOING THIS TO ME!

3) Reduce or eliminate the number of hours you work outside of the home.

I was finally able to reduce my work hours to 24 per week mid-April. However, by then I had tons of doctors appointments and other things to take care of on my days off that I never had any time to actually get prepared for this move. I actually liked my job and do miss my coworkers (Hi MrsWilcox!!) but I really really wish I had quit sooner so that I wouldn't have been so incredibly stressed out.

In all honesty, I truly think I may have had pre-partum depression. I was a complete mess and had a very difficult time coping with everything that I was going through and knew that once the baby got here things would become even more difficult. I couldn't move because of all the pain I was in and knew a good portion of that pain was because I sat all day at work. I was bitter about having to work when I knew I'd be stressed out about this move. I was bitter that I couldn't exercise. I was bitter at my husband for "doing this to me." I was even bitter at the baby for not being born and seriously wondered if I would be able to bond with him once he was born since I was so angry. Yes- ANGER is what filled me for a good portion of the end of my pregnancy and it wasn't pretty. I tried keeping things under wraps (I do have a history of trying to be strong and just working my way through things....when will I ever learn??) and just tried biting my tongue so that I wouldn't lash out at my husband or total strangers, but it was getting more and more difficult. In that respect, things definitely got better once I gave birth. Pregnancy hormones suck. And not just for giving me epically long facial hairs.

I've obviously now quit my job and am now officially a Stay At Home Mom. Wow. That's going to be weird to get used to. Actually, a lady here who was helping me get around town told me, "I'm not sure about what cleaning products to get since I work. You'll obviously be better at that than me since you stay home." WHAT THE WHAT?!? I was incredulous at her audacity, but just replied, "Well, I don't know about that. I've only just been home 8 weeks." I was very proud of my restraint! I didn't owe her any explanations and didn't want to come across as defensive by listing my educational and employment accomplishments and I especially didn't want to smack her across the head for being so rude. Ok. Yes I did want to do that.

4) Enjoy the time you have with your family and friends and make as many memories as possible.

Oy to the vey was this an emotional move.  I miss my sister so much more than I can express and have shed so many tears with Lyteyz and other close friends. There are so many folks at my church that I wasn't able to say goodbye to and that sucks. Thank the Lord for Skype! Hopefully they'll be able to invent a way to hug through the internetz. Or maybe Smell-o-Vision. That'd be cool too.

BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!!

Good-byes at the airport. My hormones affected everyone.

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

Wow. So things have been pretty intense here lately. Lots of changes- both big and small. What’s been going on?  Let me see….

• I’ve been forced into organizing my house. This has been a very emotional ordeal for me since, 1) I’m a recently postpartum woman who tends to be a mite bit emotional about many things and 2) I’m a little pack rat and have a lot of…crap - for lack of a better word- that takes me for freakin’ evah to go through. Being the highly sentimental person that I am, I often struggle with the, “should I toss it or keep it forever and ever and call it George?” mentality. Even if it’s over a pen.  Quick factoid: before collecting yarn, I collected pens. I have probably over 1000 pens. I do not need any more pens and really should toss the ones that I have duplicates of, but….it’s a pen! You do not toss pens! What if you needed to jot something down that you need to remember but you end up forgetting to get your mother a birthday gift because YOU THREW AWAY YOUR PEN and now you feel guilty and need to eat some ice cream to make the guilt go away but then you gain 5 pounds and feel even guiltier and cry and then eat some more and then you NEVER LOSE THE PREGNANCY WEIGHT. See Mister?!? I’m fat all because you forced me to toss a pen!! 

• I've not been able to exercise since I’ve been busy trying to organize my house.  I have my yoga and pilates DVDs all raring to go but have yet to get through them since I have pens to throw away. I did go on very long walks this weekend with my Mister and Little Mister and I very nearly died.  This is mainly due to the fact that my body is more crooked than the crooked man who lived in a crooked house. (I bet he gets to keep his crooked pens!) I need to see a chiropractor very badly and really need to strengthen my core so that my back and hips will actually stay inline. Thus, the yoga and pilates that I should be doing. Need to remember to do my exercises! Where’s my pen so I can jot that down?

•  I'M BEING PUBLISHED!!! I submitted to the Cooperative Press Fresh Designs Crochet book series and one of my patterns has been accepted!!  YAYAYAYAYAY! So, I now have a secret project that I need to work on. SO EXCITED!!!

• Little Mister is just growing and growing and growing. At his 6 week checkup, he was 14 pounds 5 oz. He had gained 6 pounds in 6 weeks!  My milk must be pure cream…note to self: probably should stop eating ice cream so much. Yipes.  He is still sleeping in our bed with us so I’ve gotten pretty good at the nursing while lying down technique. A little too good, actually.  I need to break this habit if I ever want him to sleep in his own bed since he tends to motorboat me in his sleep so he can eat in comfort and never even wake up.  It wakes me up, though. And makes me laugh- seeing him doing an impression of Stevie Wonder in his sleep is pretty darn hysterical. 

• We do hope to get him to sleep in his bed in the near future. Both of us have gotten accustomed to him in bed with us and I must admit that we both like him there. He’s like a security blanket. A security blanket that wiggles, grunts, and cries when he needs to fart. (Seriously- I was so concerned the first few times thinking he was sick or in pain or that I must have dropped my phone on him again (yes for reals….twice). When we found that he just has a problem with nighttime farts, we stopped worrying so much. Still laugh and encourage him to PUSH IT OUT, SON and laugh some more, though.) However, it’s cute now that he’s only 2 months old, but I really don’t want to share a bed with a toddler. I’d really like to have my husband to myself again, quite honestly. Once Little Mister gets over his jet lag, we’ll start working on it. He’s starting to get better with the time change.  

•  What time change and jet lag? Oh.  Didn’t I tell you?

• We moved. To a land far, far, away. Where? I’m not going to say. And with that, I wish you all a good day.  A very g’day. To all of my mates.

Hormones....Nothing More Than...Hormones....

Faster than a nervous breakdown! Able to make grown women weep like a baby! Up in your brain! It's a wrinkle! It's a fart! NO! It's SUPERHORMONES!

Ah yes. Those wonderful, wacky, all-controlling chemicals have some AH-MA-ZING effects on women- especially those of us who have experienced pregnancy and childbirth.  Shall I run down some of the more scrumptious effects for you?

Let me see.... Oh yes- one of the top ten in the Pregnant & Hormonal Woman repertoire: GAS, GAS AND MORE GAS!  Not only is your digestive system slower, but you also have an ever growing mass of HUMAN BEING exerting pressure on all facets of your internal plumbing. Eat some beans? OH GOODY! Here comes a rumbling fart. Waddle down the stairs? FART FART FART with every step! Attempt to bend over to look at the toes you know were once there? Burp! And then fart again, just for good measure! A classic Burp-n-Fart tag team! Also occurs when you roll over in bed, especially if you're rolling over trying trying to seduce your husband with your sexy, sexy, whale of a body. Mmmmm.....whale farts. Never have I felt more manly than during the womanly act of pregnancy.

Hmm....what's another fabulous bodily function under the All-Powerful Hormone's control? How's about some Emotional Instability for ya?  How's about them apples, huh? Someone ask a stupid question like, "What's the baby's name?" for the eleventy bagillionth time? HULK SMASH YOUR FACE! For reals, dad! We did not have a name for him until he was four days old! It was not some sort of conspiracy against you getting a tattoo with his name blazoned across your chest! I wanted to scream like a banshee every time someone asked the same question over and over and over again. STOP PRESSURING ME!! We'll name him Turd Head after you, you stupid cow! O.M.G. I'm going to poop on my poor little baby's head during labor and then he really is going to be a turd head, all because we can't think of a name for him. My precious little baby boy is *sobbing* going to hate me forever *crying uncontrollably* because I pooped on his head and then spent the first few years of his life in jail for ripping that stupid lady's pancreas out of her big stupid mouth!

How about the good aspects of pregnancy hormones? You know- the ones heard of in myth and legend. Such as a "pregnancy glow." Sweet! Oil slicks on your face to make you a bright and shiny farting whale! How about thick, luscious long hair? Oh so amazing.....ON YOUR FACE!!! And, if you're as lucky as I am, you won't realize you have such long, luxurious facial hair until this past weekend when you are shopping at Costco with your sister who oh-so-helpfully tries to take that inch-long "cat hair" off your cheek only to drop it in horror as it makes your lip do an Elvis impersonation since it's firmly attached and has no intention of letting go. EVER. It wants to stay there and grow and grow and grow so you can use it for dental floss one day. Perhaps perm it or twist it behind your ear. Use it as a lasso around your zits that have made their appearance thanks to your greasy pregnancy glowing face. Or perhaps just let it flap in the breeze so total strangers will have the pleasure of admiring your INCH LONG FACIAL HAIR that your sleep deprived eyes and soon-to-be-dead husband never saw. (Seriously, honey??? How could you let me go out in public like that??? Were your eyes still watery from my whale farts?) And I thought all this time the baby was sweetly cooing "Oooooooh," to me after he was nursing. Instead he was saying, "NOOOOOOO!" because he was horrified by his mother's facial tentacle as it tried to strangle him while he ate.

Oh, but those hormones did allow me to have a very adorable and sweet little boy. One that I just can't stop kissing (though now I fear for his life in case another rogue facial hair makes another assasination attempt). Funny enough, before having him, I couldn't stand how much people kissed babies. I would seriously get grossed out with a shiver up my butt every time I would see someone making out with a baby's head. (Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets butt shivers when I get wigged out!) Now? I totally get it. Apparently it's also thanks to those wonderful hormones that make a baby irresistible to smooch.  It's an instinctual behavior that we do to claim them. Like a mother cat licks her kittens, we drench our young with our saliva filled open-mouth kisses to say, "This adorable little bundle of poop is mine!" Hmmm....I guess this means I can stop licking him now. I was feeling so feline with my whiskers, I just couldn't help it.

Baby Showers

I was starting to write a different blog post right now but was distracted while My Mister was changing the baby’s morning poop diaper. As soon as he took off the diaper, he was sprayed with morning pee. Cracks me up every time since I never get peed on. Must be a special bond with his dad.

Big Mister: Ugh! You have a dirty weewee! And now your head is all wet.
Little Mister: cooooo *gummy smile*
Me: *secretly snickering since I don't get peed on so I must be loved the best*
Me: *ashamed to think it's a competition*
Me: *totally winning the love competition*.