A Ticking Time Bomb

I don't know whether it's because he's still adapting to the new time zone here and recuperating from all the travels, or if it's due to the change in diet- he's been eating some solid foods this week- or if it's just to get back at me for eating cheese while in New Mexico and causing him intestinal distress, but whatever the reason, I am scared. Like SCARED scared. I am scared because my Little Mister has not pooped in four days. FOUR.DAYS.

This means, of course, that we are in for one heck of a doozy once it happens. And, since he's been eating some solid foods, it means that it's not going to be the "sweet" smelling breast milk poopies. It is not just going to stink, but staaank. After his first solid food poopy diaper a while ago, I seriously considered breastfeeding him until he was potty trained because, good golly Miss Molly! The smell was something like a mixture of old people farts and death. Fruit Roll Up boobs be darned- if he's not potty trained till he's 5, it's worth it.

The longest he's ever gone without a poop was three days and I'm still trying to recover from that one. I'm really not sure how we'll survive this one, but I really hope it happens tomorrow so I won't be alone with the carnage Little Mister won't be so uncomfortable. It's like playing Hot Potato whenever we're holding him.

Me: Here you go, daddy! It's your turn!
Mister: But, ummm...I uhhh....I have important work to do on the taxes. Yep. Taxes.
Me: GOOD GOD, MAN! If he poops on me again, the IRS is going to be the least of your concerns!"

*Mister takes him*

*Two minutes later*

Mister: *halo burning bright over his head*

Little Mister: Ma mama ma ma mama mama ma ma

Me: *angry squinty eyes* You did that on purpose.


We are hoping to go on a slight road trip and then a hike tomorrow. If he hasn't pinched a loaf by breakfast, I'm thinking we are hunkering down for the day. If you don't hear back from me soon, send reinforcements.