National Gege Crochet and Nutrition Month

Ok peeps- I promised yesterday to reveal more about my sister's inability to fully appreciate the handmade gifts I make for her as well as pictures of my blocked L.A.D.Y Stole of Transformation.  However, I had a late day at work and was not able to take pictures of the items needed...........and.......I didn't finish said stole until this morning, so it wasn't blocked.  Shocking, I know. Instead of crocheting last night, I spent way too much time on the interwebs than I should have- but don't tell my Mister that I said that.  He's suspected that for years but has not had any tangible proof, such as a very public confession, as of yet.  Mister, if you are reading this, I swear, Sis has hacked my account and I cannot be held accountable for any out-of-character confessions stated at this time.  She's evil!  H...e....l....p.....m...e.......

(Sis, if you are reading this, I'm totally sorry for the evil-eyes Mister is giving you right now.  I swear, he's totally nutso and I don't know what to do with him anymore.  He's evil! H...e....l....p.....m...e.......)

Ok......I'm pretty sure they are both battling it out right now to defend my honor.  I may be feeling a tad bit guilty for not being exactly truthful to my most beloved ones, but....Meh.  I'll get over it.

March is an awesome month for me.  It's filled with things that I love, including my Mister's birthday.  Last year at this time, I was *thiiiiis* close to finishing my Super Mario Blanket.  It's quite appropriate that I finished it in March since, as any good crocheter worth her yarn knows, March is National Crochet Month (or NatCroMo for you cool cats with the hip crochet lingo. Yo and word to your motha.) That is so beyond awesome.  As I crochet at work, I quite happily tell my boss people, "Why yes, I'm crocheting because it's National Crochet Month, so you can't fire me." I walk the halls quite proudly as the resident office Hooker. (Tee hee!)  I actually did finish my stole this morning at work, so it will actually be blocked tonight (or tomorrow, depending on how long it takes me to finish this post.....and surf the internet....)

Not only is March NatCroMo, but it's also National Nutrition Month.  What?!?  I KNOW!  March is like the best month ever!  My love of all types of fiber is celebrated during this wonderful month.  The birth of my One True Love occurred during this wonderful month.  AND Spring, the season that chases away nasty Old Man Winter back into the abyss from whence he came, occurs during this wonderful month.  I love you, March.

Since I've shared quite a bit of the crochet part of my life, I've decided to share some of the Nutrition part of my life today in honor of NatNutMo.  (hmmmm.....sounded much cooler in my head.....)

I really love the math part of nutrition- I love figuring out how many calories, carbohydrates, protein, and fat people should consume per day. The amount of calories, carbohydrates, protein, and fat a person needs depends on a few things- gender, activity level, and age to name a few.  It is recommended that you should consume 50-55% of your daily calories from carbohydrate, 15-20% from protein, and no more than 30% from fat. I am not a proponent of no/low carb diets- moderation and smart choices are the keys, my friends.  I hate to break it to you, but there is no magic bullet for weight loss. If there was, America would be filled with a bunch of really thin people instead of being 68% overweight and/or obese (BMI >/= 25). 

A rule of thumb for figuring out caloric needs that doesn't take into consideration gender, activity level, and age is this:

25-30 cals/kg for weight loss

30-35 cals/kg for weight maintenance

35-40 cals/kg for weight gain

Generally, women should stay towards the lower end of the range and men at the higher.

EX: a female who weighs 130 pounds who wants to maintain her weight.

130 pounds/2.2 kg/pound = 59.1 kg * 30-35 cals/kg = 1773-2068.5 calories per day.

Using 1800 calories, figuring out her carbohydrate, protein, and fat needs:

50 - 55% carbohydrate = 900 - 990 cals

15 - 20% protein = 270 - 360 cals

30% fat = 595 cals

Since carbohydrates and protein have 4 calories/gram, and fat has 9 calories/gram, we can also figure out that she needs:

225 - 247.5 g carbohydrate

67.5 - 90 g protein

66 g fat

See? Easy peasy. ;)  I'm a very big proponent of keeping track of the number of servings per food group instead of calorie counting.  I want to make sure people are learning how to eat healthfully rather than going on a diet.  When you go "on" a diet, you can go "off" a diet.  When you learn to eat healthfully, your "diet" is part of your everyday life. Note: eating healthfully does not equate eating only organic, non-fat foods that taste like cardboard.  While fiber truly is very important in a diet, one does not have to eat food that tastes like tree bark to be "healthy." 

I truly think that if there was more of an emphasis on healthy eating rather than an unattainable body type for women (men are affected by this, too, but mostly women) as portrayed by the media, then most folks would be able to have a healthy relationship with food rather than the destructive and unhealthy love/hate relationship that is prevalent today.  

Eat well. Exercise often. Be healthy in mind and body.  

See! National Gege Crochet and Nutrition Month.  Best.Month.Ever.

A L.A.D.Y and Her Yarn

I usually make things for other people- mainly my sister.  Must be the whole "big sister/little sister" thing. I have always had a strong instinct to take care of her- stems from me being the rough and tumble tomboy and she the fragile little princess growing up.  She, of course, never takes advantage of my sisterly love and care.  She never tells me that she wants the beautiful scarf I just made myself because she knows I won't say no to her.  Nuh uh- never.   Like my Pinky LaRue scarf.  I made it for myself and kept it!  Ok, I didn't.  I gave it to her and she loved it.  That's why I give her the things I make.  She loves them and actually wears them which, if you are a crafter you know, is a most awesome feeling.  (Although, "wears" and "takes care of" are 2 separate entities.....more on that tomorrow.)

Well, that Pinky LaRue scarf was quite the hit.  One of my BFFs looked at it with which I can only describe as googley eyes and said, her voice quivering ever so slightly, "Oh- that's pretty.  Did you make it?" while petting it in a way that made me a tad uncomfortable.  So, of course I made her one- she loved it, too.  

I think part of the covet nature of this scarf is the yarn itself- it's Moda Dea Bamboo Wool in Boysenberry and I LUUURVES it!  It is such a pleasure to work with.  I found it on clearance and wiped out the joint. (A couple of months later, I ended up buying 4 more skeins in green, also on clearance- if you find it, buy it. Unless you're in the DC metro area- then I may have to ninja kick you in the mouth to get it first.) It turned out to be enough yarn to make 3 scarves (and maybe even a hat...hmmm....).  For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that means I have enough yarn to make one more scarf.  For ME!

I started working on this scarf about a month ago.  If you have made the Pinky LaRue scarf, then you know it is a VERY easy pattern.  The first couple scarves only took a couple hours each, including weaving in ends, which of course I loathe.  So why, a month after I started this scarf, is it still not complete?  Because it is for me, of course.  I rarely make myself pretty things since I know that it will take up valuable time which can be better spent making pretty things for others.  (People pleaser, what?!?)

Well, I decided that that was going to change.  I wanted to make myself a stole- not a shawl since, after 2 Seraphina's, I've found that I'm not a shawl person- but a stole- something to gracefully drape over my shoulders to keep the chill off of me at work or at church or on a plane.  That's one of my goals for this year- to be more graceful.  No more t-shirts and Chucks and fart jokes for me!  It's all silk and stoles and caviar and long cigarette holders from here on out!  I am going to be a L.A.D.Y.

<snooty faux British accent> So, dahlings, I saw this awesome scrumptious pattern on Ravelry for a Feather and Fan scarf.  Now, I've only seen this type of stitch pattern for knit stuff wear, so I thought it was pretty darn cool absolutely chahming to find it in crochet. I love positively adore it. </accent>

I saw it and thought that this will be the very thing that will transform me into a L.A.D.Y.  So, after a few false starts and a few alterations, (I'll blab about that tomorrow), I made it with the green Moda Dea Bamboo Wool and I'm just about done with my L.A.D.Y. Stole of Transformation.  

Isn't it divine?  This picture doesn't do the green justice, actually. I'll hopefully get a better pic tomorrow.  I may even block it tonight- will be my first time ever. I'm usually too impatient for that sort of nonsense.  But, first rule of being a L.A.D.Y is: no more fart jokes.  Second rule is: patience is a virtue- especially if it's to make a fashion accessory fantabulous.

So, it will be ready by tomorrow when I can wear my green in solidarity with all my fellow Irishmen and women.  (Whatever. Can you prove I'm not Irish? Didn't think so.)  I'm really excited about it!  I made it for ME using all of the yarn I had in this colorway. It's mine! All mine! Muahahahahahahahahaha!  

Ahem.  Ok- so a L.A.D.Y. wouldn't laugh maniacally like that. However, in my defense, my L.A.D.Y. Stole of Transformation is not yet complete, so I am still free to be me- ungraceful, fiber loving, Chucks wearing, maniacally laughing me.

Ta ta dahlings!

L.A.D.Y- Lover And Defender of Yarn (And you thought there was no reason for the all-caps.  Ha!)

A Trip Down Crochet Memory Lane

My last post really had me thinking about all of the crochet poo I have managed to create during my short, yet ongoing, reign as Crochet Queen of the World.  (What?!? Megalomaniac?!? Moi???).  Oh yes, my friends.  In my first overeager attempts to jump right in with hooks a-blazin', I left quite a shameful trail of what-not-to-crochet behind me.

It all began with my first choice of yarn.  I had my Teach Yourself to Crochet materials all laid out and ready to go- all I needed was some beautiful yarn to transform into a wondrous work of crochet excellence that would have family and friends marveling at my utter artistic brilliance.  So, what do I choose?  Hmmm.....  Well, let's see.....I love purple. If it is purple, it is beautiful and will make beautiful crochet pieces of art.  Even if it's Homespun yarn by Lion Brand- it's purple, so I must love it and buy it NOW.  

Lesson Numero Uno- NEVER buy Homespun yarn. Ever.  Especially if you are a beginner who has never picked up a hook before.  Never.  As I learned the hard way, you will never be able to see your stitches. I thought I was a crochet 'tard when I couldn't figure out which loop the instructions were talking about- there was nothing but loops in this yarn.  This was  a serious blow to my Queendom aspirations.

When I figured out that Homespun was not the best yarn with which to learn crochet, I went back to the store and found RHSS- a great yarn with which to learn. After learning the basic crochet stitches, I decided to work on a purse that was in my Crochet learning packet.  (Makes sense that I make many purses now- I was drawn to purses from the very get go.)  This is what it looked like in the book.

Cute, huh? It was made with two strands held together- sc for the two colors mixed, dc with the main color in the middle.  Well, when I first bought that RHSS, what did my lustful eyes draw me to?  Oh look! More pretty purple! Mixed with other pretty colors! And here's another one that's pretty blue with some pretty purple in it!  Look at the pretties!  Oh yes- I discovered variegated yarn and it was my new favorite.   

Lesson Numero Dos- variegated yarn is ok in small doses, but absolutely abominable in large doses.  This is my very first crochet project:

It was so bad that I couldn't even finish it.  Here you can see my early attempts (and subsequent failures) at getting dc even at the end of a row.

With this project, I did learn that I liked dc much better than sc.  And I learned that purple is very deceitful above all things. (ETA- my sister just saw this and said, "Hmm.  Well....I'm glad you kept practicing.  It looks like something that would be posted on Etsy."  OOOOO! Burn!)

For my second project, I surfed for free projects and found one on the Michaels website for another purse. It was made of motifs that you join as you go.  Since I was tricked by purple last time, I decided to go a more neutral route with this project.  It actually didn't turn out that bad. 

I actually finished it in record time and was oh so proud of myself and couldn't wait to utilize my new handmade bag.  Ummm....yeah.  Do you see all the ends sticking out?  With this bag, I found that I don't like weaving in ends. 

Lesson Numero Tres- if you don't like weaving in ends, don't make something that will have a million of them for your second project.  Also, since it was so holey and stretchy, it is a very impractical bag.  I may line it in the future just so that it won't sit in my pile-o-shame any longer.  But, until then, shame pile it is.

I think after these 2 projects, I was a little disheartened, so I put crochet away for a month or so.  However, those hooks kept luring me back, so I decided to try it again.  This time I promised to learn from my mistakes.  I decided to try a hat and found really cute ones at Yarncat.  I taught myself how to crochet in the round with this hat.  Then I made a scarf to go with it.  I started with a flower I found in one of my crochet books and then designed the scarf to go with it, making the flower into a pocket.  This is my first attempt at designing.  

 

I actually do use these and I made my sister a matching set in pink.  Crochet Queendom attained.

Not bad for a first hat.  Feeling very proud of how quickly I learned from my mistakes, I moved on to my second hat.  I found another free pattern for a cute cloche and thought, I am the Crochet Queen and this shall be my crown.  The pattern called for bulky yarn, so I thought, Homespun is pretty bulky....hmmmm.....*strokes chin*......let's try it again!!!! 

Here is my second hat, or as I lovingly call it, the Head Eating Blood Clot.

It's HUUUUGE.  Here it is in comparison to my watermelon hat.

Just so you don't think it's a trick of the camera, here is the Blood Clot eating my watermelon hat.

Lesson Numero Quatro- learn from Mistake Numero Uno.  It would be frogged by now....if only some NASA scientist can figure out a way to frog Homespun.  Wait a second....I'm Queen.....heads are going to roll for this! Unless that Blood Clot eats them first.....

I find that inspiration for a new project can come from anywhere.  For instance, one day in my early crocheting career while my Mister and I were eating dinner in front of the TV at our very posh and proper dining table, I looked at our placemats and thought- I could totally make these!  So, I found another free pattern on the web and got out some new yarn from my cute little baby stash.  (*Sigh* They grow so fast!)  This is what I made:

Wow.  I am a really slow learner.  (Note to self, read Lesson Numero Dos and memorize it by heart.  No, Self! Stop!  Do not wander away when I'm talking to you!  Put.the.yarn.down. I don't care how purplely it is!  Walk away. Just walk away.)  

Since this didn't lay flat, I thought, no problem!  Just iron it.  RHSS.  Acrylic.  Good idea, no?

Lesson Numero Cinco- ACRYLIC MELTS.  Do not use it for anything that will come in contact with heat or you may have an ugly variegated puke stain to clean up later.

Well, now I thought that I learned all I could from acrylic yarn and should now branch out and try new fibers with my supremely advanced crocheting abilities.  I'd been eyeballing those large cones of cotton at Walmart for a while, so I thought, why not!  I'm Queen. Give it to me now!

I didn't know what to make with it, but thought another bag would be nice.  I think this one came from the Sugar and Cream website.  It's supposed to be a market bag- not only was I going to make a crochet work of art, I was going to save the planet by taking my reusable, handmade, environmentally friendly bag with me and not use disgusting non-biodegradable plastic anymore.  I snatched the crown off of the Environmental Queen's head, as well.  It was easy- just sicced my Blood Clot on her and her kingdom was mine.  

REALLY?!?  Self!  Did I not tell you to memorize Lesson Numero Dos????  What do I have to do to you to make you understand??? 

As you can see, I did not finish this one, either.  I think I got disheartened by the ugliness of it all.  I couldn't picture going into Trader Joes trying to impress folks with my reusable, handmade, environmentally friendly turd bag.  Nope.  Couldn't do it.

So there you have it.  A sampling of the wondrous poo that can be created with hook and yarn.  Ahhhh....memories.  Sooo glad I didn't do something embarrassing to give crochet a bad name.  Whew!  Crochet Queen status secured.  Crown firmly in place.  Actually, I don't think I could take it off if I tried.  No, seriously.  A little help here?  

 

ARE YOU READY FOR A WAR?!?

There was a thread recently on Ravelry asking if crochet is getting more popular on that site.  Apparently, there are quite a few crochet patterns on the New and Popular section cropping up.  Of course, in the thread, there were quite a few crocheters Rah Rah Rahing about the awesomeness that is crochet.  And then you had some knitters who were trying to hide their, "Say it ain't so!" while they ran to double check the New and Popular patterns.  

I think it's a bunch of hooey.  It's quite ridiculous this whole, "Us vs. Them" mentality that crops up between knitters and crocheters.  I giggle to myself when I think about it since I have a very vivid imagination (shocking, I know).  I keep picturing 2 sides of wild-eyed, tangle-haired, fiber wielding women- half carrying pointy sticks and half carrying not-so pointy hooks.  They rush onto the battleground screaming, "For our frrrrreedom!" in heavy Scottish brogues as they flash their cojones to each other by lifting their knitted or crocheted kilts.  There's blood! There's tears! There are even dismembered digestive systems!  However, ultimately, the kilts are the winners.

This was my response to the thread:

A couple of my projects have been recipients of some comments like that (“Wow, I didn’t know you could do that with crochet” or “I would learn crochet just to make that”). Unfortunately, crochet has earned it’s ugly red-headed stepchild reputation (darn the 70’s!!). However, there are some amazing things being done with crochet and some wonderful patterns that are coming out to hopefully bring people over to the dark side….err….to become hookers…..umm…..to try crochet. ;). Not to take away from knitting, but to open up eyes and minds to the different possibilities out there for appeasing this strange and urgent primal need to work and express ourselves with fibers. Whether with hooks or sticks, that’s what it boils down to. It’s all about the fiber.

First off, if you happen to be an ugly red-headed stepchild, then I must say.....sucks to be you!  HA! Secondly, if you've read my blog long enough, you know that I'm a nutritionist and that I'm all about the fiber.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: a clean colon is a happy colon.  However, in this case, I'm talking about a wholly different kind a fiber.  Yummy and good for you all the same.  The fiber that we use- whether acrylic, wool, or some sort of Frankenstein blend of anything that can be made into string- is what is makes us all light headed and breathless.  I don't go into the craft store to stare googly eyed at the crochet hooks.  I go to pet and drool over the yarn and dream about what I can create with it.  FIBER folks. 

I love crocheting. However, it's just by the luck of the draw that I picked up the hook rather than the sticks.  In 2007, at the same time I picked up a "Teach Yourself to Crochet" packet at Walmart, I also picked up a "Teach Yourself to Knit" packet.  For whatever reason, I ripped apart the Crochet one first.  I just connected with it instantaneously and the rest, quite frankly, is history.  Eventually, I did open up the knitting kit and I even tried it out.  (Gasp, shock and horrors!)  I actually knitted a washcloth early last year:

Yes, my friends.  I can both knit AND purl!  And, yes, I do become more awesome by the minute. Granted, my "square" dishcloth does look more rhomboid, but it's a dishcloth nonetheless.     

A few lessons I learned with this dishcloth:

1) Knitting takes for freakin' EVAH to do.  It took me nearly a week to knit that scrawny little thing!  In comparison, it took me nearly a week to crochet this:

1a) Ok, ok.  If I actually took the time needed to master the art of knitting, it probably wouldn't take me so long.  However, I'm extremely impatient.  Extremely.  That's why it made me laugh when folks said I must be so patient to have crocheted my Mario blanket.  No- not patient- just crazily obsessed. Extremely impatient, crazy, and obsessed.  About sums me up.

 2) Knitting makes a really stretchy fabric.  I really like the way this dishcloth feels.  Knitting does make a really nice fabric and is great for making wearables. I truly would like to be able to knit myself a sweater.  However, check 1a again. 

3) Even though most people say that Continental knitting (or "picking") would be easier for crocheters to learn since you hold the yarn in your left hand as you do for crocheting, I could not get the hang of it for anything.  Throwing the yarn seemed so much more of a fit for me.  Goes to show you that most people actually don't know anything and generally just talk out of their butt about everything.

4) If I had the time to practice knitting, I would.  I just have so many crochet projects running through my head and not enough time to get them fleshed out so knitting sits on the back burner.  Also, read 1a again.

I think it's unfortunate that there are some knitters who thumb their noses at crochet.  However, as I said earlier, crochet has not had the best of reputations. When people think of crochet, they usually picture orange, avocado, and yellow granny square or ripple afghans or little old ladies making a plethora of doilies that nobody is going to use.  I am proud to have some projects that have shone a positive light on this wonderful craft.  It's not just for old ladies to make tacky home accessories.  It can be cool and fun and ART.

However, we as crocheters have to do our part to continually show the world the awesomeness of our craft.  Designers need to keep making new and beautiful items that will continue to make people (including knitters) think, "Wow!  I want to learn how to do that!"

ETA: I'm not saying that doilies aren't art, as well.  Have you seen some of those thread crochet projects??  Check this out!

Stop making so many lousy granny square projects in tacky colors!  Use something other than pastels for gifts!  Use colors and textures and designs that may challenge you!  If you make a purse, line it and put attractive handles on it!  The finishing of an object makes all the difference in the world.  I LOVE it when I'm wearing one of my purses and someone asks where I bought it from.  They gasp and just can't believe that it was handmade.  That's the way it should be, folks.  If you find that people don't like your handmade gifts, stop thinking they're being ungrateful and take a cold, hard look at what you're giving them.  Are the colors tacky?  Is the workmanship shoddy?  It doesn't matter if you spent a week making that baby blanket- nobody is going to appreciate a piece of crap no matter how much "love" was put into it.

If you are a beginner, then this does not apply to you.  We all have to start out somewhere.  Look at my knitted dishcloth- a total piece of poo, I know.  Believe me, I have had my fair share of rotten crochet projects, as well. However, as your skills improve, don't just get stuck in the same old row after row of dc projects.  Branch out and try something new!  

I do think that the whole "us vs. them" thing is ridiculous.  However, I am a crocheter and I love my craft.  I don't want someone thumbing their nose at me just because I bring a dull hook into battle.  I want to show them that I can totally kick their arse with my weapon of choice.

How about you?

Blog Spotlight: Crafty is Cool

So, I've been thinking of doing this for a while- putting a spotlight on some of the blogs/other sites I come across while I mindlessly browse for hours on the interwebs.  It'll put a spotlight on some maybe not-so-well-known blogs (and maybe some more-well-known blogs...mostly of the crafty or geeky nature), as well as let me have a reference of a particular site that I stumbled across and forgot to bookmark.  I iz forgetful sometimez.

Anywho, I saw this post on Craftster for a crocheted Conan O'brien.  I thought it totally rocked! I loved this since I think Conan is hilarious and since I think that people that do amigurumi are amazing.  I hate doing single crochet.  HATE.IT.  I would rather wipe my rear with a pine cone than complete row after row of single crochet.  Don't get me wrong- I know it's a necessary evil in the world of crochet.  My Koopa Coin Purse was done in single crochet.  Thus, it smells like a forest every time I pass gas.  (HA! I couldn't even finish typing that without LOLing for reals. I crack myself up.)

Ok, I digress.  She had her blog (Crafty is Cool) listed in her signature, so I clicked it to see what else she has to offer.  AMAZING!  She has some free ami patterns up- including this one for an a-freakin'-dorable power-up mushroom!  

She has some other awesome toys as well as some patterns on her etsy site. Hopefully she'll be updating her blog with other patterns or pictures of her FO- great stuff Allison!