Monday, September 22, 2014

Seek and Ye Shall Find Cat Butts

When My Mister and I were first dating in college, he, being the ever smitten new boyfriend, wanted to impress me with his newfound love and… smitten-ness….by buying me some jewelry. Specifically some earrings since, you know, a ring would be a little too forward and a necklace may seem like he wanted to choke me (right?), and he knew I wore earrings more often than any other jewelry. (WHO CAN HANDLE NAKED LOBES??) However, they couldn’t be just any ordinary earrings. Oh no. They had to be cat earrings because I love earrings, but I love love love cats. BUT. They couldn’t be any ordinary cat earrings, either. Oh no. They had to also be humorous cat earrings because we both like the funny. So, one earring is a cat head…and the other one is a cat butt. Because he knew, even then at the very beginning, that butts were the way to my heart.*

I loved those earrings. So SO much. I wore them constantly within the first week of receiving them. I made sure to pull my hair up so that people at the BSU could see and admire my butt. (Wait a second….)

And then, about one week after receiving them, someone at the BSU did NOT notice and admire them. Instead they pointed out that one of my ears had a cool cat head on it but the other one was (OHMYGOSH) naked. WHY OH WHY did my cat butt decide to skedaddle?? I lost one of my most favoritest earrings from my new boyfriend somewhere on campus sometime during the morning and I needed to find it before he saw me without them and thought I didn’t like his gift and that I hated him and wanted to spit on him and then he’d dump me and we’d never get married and have….married couple time….

It could be anywhere. I had so many classes scattered all over campus and the likelihood of ever finding that runaway cat was practically zero. HOWEVER, since I was at the BSU (Baptist Student Union) and since I truly and completely believed in the power of prayer, I asked everyone around me to pray with me that I’d be able to find my lost cat.

So we prayed. And I prayed. And I traced my steps around campus. And I prayed. And I was sad since my natural optimism was starting to be dampened as I walked and walked and walked around the huge campus and did not find a cat butt anywhere.

Despondent, I was almost back to the BSU when my friend Meegan, coming from the BSU, stopped me and asked why I was so sad. I told her my tail of woe (HA!) and she made the appropriate sad noises you make to someone who is obviously slightly deranged.

And then, the most miraculous thing EVER happened. It was THE moment in my life that solidified to me that God is real, that He hears our prayers, and that nothing is too big or too small for Him.

After patting my arm and saying, “There, there,” Meegan looked down at the sidewalk and said, “Is that it?”


There, looking back up at me, at just the spot we stopped to talk, was my beloved cat butt. No, it was not on my person and somehow was shaken loose when she pat my arm- I had already done the shakedown at the BSU to see if it was somewhere in my clothes- it was not. There is no other way for me to explain it- it was a miracle, pure and simple. 

AND I STILL HAVE THEM! (Though the posts are missing now. Methinks I have to fix them after today.)

After that day, I have never once been (overly) worried about losing something. My keys go missing (again)? No problem! Just pray because God knows where they are and will allow me to find them at the right moment. I truly do pray about all the various things I’ve lost/misplaced, which means I really don't do anything but pray all day long.

Except for last night.

Last night I couldn’t find yet another piece of jewelry that My Mister had gifted me. Except this time it was slightly more important than a cat butt….it was my wedding ring.

The only time I take it off is when I put lotion on- either on me or on the kids. So, last night after their bath, I had taken it off and put it in their top drawer while I helped it rub the lotion on its skin. I then forgot all about it and continued to work on my crochet (that may or may not be for a future yarn bombing.)

Instead of going to bed right away (like they ever do that), they sang to each other and asked for water, and laughed and carried on. Then Little Mister got out of bed and went to the toilet and subsequently yelled that he was all done. (He’s completely potty trained….just not “wiped” trained quite yet. You think you’re done with the poops once you’re done with the diapers and then, BAM! Skidmarks.)

I got a wipe from their drawer and noticed my ring sitting on the wipe box, so I grabbed it before My Mister came and saw it. (He was on his way to change SweetPea who wasn’t about to let her brother have all the fun and left quite a load in her diaper. *shudder*)

Once both their butts were clean and they were finally in bed, we sat back down in front of the telly and I continued to crochet. Then I jumped on the kids’ trampoline. And did some stretches. And then took a shower and was putting on lotion when I realized that I didn’t have to take off my ring because OHMYGOSH IT’S MISSING!

I couldn’t remember where I last saw it. I had to retrace my steps- I clearly remember taking it from the wipe box, but I couldn’t remember what happened after that.

And I started to panic. I looked at the various tables where we have lotion bottles to see if I took it off absentmindedly (stranger things have happened). Nope. 

I, ever so quietly, went back to the kids' room and rifled through their drawer to see if it was still in there. Nope. 

I looked EVERYWHERE. It was nowhere to be found.

I woke up My Mister and told him that I couldn’t find my ring and so he got up and also started looking everywhere. He also went to the kids’ bedroom and (not so quietly) rifled through their drawer to see if it was there and I missed it. Nope.

It was the first time in forever that I was really and truly worried about losing something and I couldn’t find it. I wracked my brains trying to think of where it could be and was growing more and more frustrated.

So, we prayed. And looked some more. He and I both went into the kids’ bedroom with a flashlight and looked through their drawer once again and looked behind the drawer and under their beds. NOTHING.

So, we agreed to go to sleep, pray some more, and look again in the morning.

So, this morning, I prayed with the kids at breakfast and then I called My Mister at work and asked him to keep praying as I went back and rummaged through their room, once again.

I prayed, "Dear Lord, please help me to find my ring RIGHT NOW!" as I rifled through their drawer, yet again.

And then. Even though I KNOW I moved everything and looked under everywhere the previous 3 times I looked through that drawer, I moved a tube of cream and, lo and behold, there was my ring. PRAISE THE LORD!

Just to show that God also has a sense of humor: The cream? A tube of Butt Paste.

So why, you may ask, was I worried so much about my ring? It had to be in the house somewhere, right? And that is a whole lot smaller place to look than a college campus, right? I mean. It’s not like we’re moving or anything.



*After reminding him of this story, he said he vaguely remembered it happening. And when I showed him the earrings, he said he, “Absolutely had no memory of those earrings, at all.” Wow. It’s only one of the biggest and most profound moments in my walk of faith and he totally doesn’t remember trying to impress me with them. Fine. He gets to wipe Little Mister's butt next time.

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